The Gun by Garth Harris - Short, Comedy - When a movie scene shooting takes a gruesome turn, one man finds himself on the run. Who will prevail, the mysterious "criminal", or the two bumbling private investigators dispatched to capture him?  - html, format 8)

Hmm, your log line does not do this weirdness justice.  Definitely odd, occasionally pretty funny, but also a tad incoherent.  I would drop some of the cheesiest jokes, and any puns.  Puns are never good. Maybe drop a page off while your at it, the goofiness is all right, but kinda overestays it's welcome by the end.

Very hard read. You basically telling the director how to direct in your actions. Where does the acts/scenes break? I see a lot of fade outs, but it never fades in. As fpr the story i agree with jackx you have a few pages too many, with a few funny lines, but never flowed. Keep trying that`s what re-drafts are for.

Agree with the first two replies, but you should certainly keep at it. I definitely think there's something in it. I love the 'self-knowing' element. Very Garry Shandling Show, which can never be a bad thing.

Might work as a sub within a film, but some of it's been done before. A lot of the cliches you're referring to are a little bit 'they used to happen' so there's a danger in that you're turning up sometime after the party finished. Have to echo the comments above as well - some of the dialogue was good though - but too much direction, but then I can see that it needed to be over-directed, or you don't get the film - maybe you'd have to produce it yourself?? You'd need good actors to pull it off.