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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Tricky
Posted by: Don, October 28th, 2011, 8:53pm
Tricky by Jean-Pierre Chapoteau - Short, Dramedy, Comedy - A talentless clown has difficulty pulling off his most prized magic trick. 1 page - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: jwent6688, October 28th, 2011, 9:59pm; Reply: 1
Its hard to praise or tear apart a one pager. I felt emotion in this. As almost if it were time for Sal to stop his Clown act because he had lost it. I found it interesting, though. but, IF YOU DOUBLE SPACED YOUR FRIGGIN' SLUGS THIS WOULDN'T MAKE ONE PAGE!...

James
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, October 29th, 2011, 12:48am; Reply: 2
For one page, I'll bite.
Mr. James is correct.
Your spacing is amiss here.

Jean-Pierre, I found your one page to be rather, French.
Considering there was no dialogue, it read pretty good.
It was cute and interesting enough.
I like the pay it forward thing.
Very easy to shoot, could do a lot worse.

Regards,
E.D.
Posted by: albinopenguin, October 29th, 2011, 2:54am; Reply: 3
definitely one of the better one pagers i've read. not much more to add except i thought this was genuinely imaginative. hard to hate and easy to film.

kudos
Posted by: nawazm11, October 29th, 2011, 10:51pm; Reply: 4
Nicely done. 1 page with no dialogue was a winner this time  :). Easy to shoot and read fast.
Posted by: Forgive, October 30th, 2011, 2:00pm; Reply: 5
I'd echo the comments above, but I felt there may be an issue with the premise? If he can't do the trick anymore, why is he going out to perform it? That aside, it was nicely told, well paced, had a nice ending (for once) and a round feel to it.
Posted by: Jean-Pierre Chapoteau, October 31st, 2011, 4:19pm; Reply: 6
Thanks to all. I really appreciate the feedback.  I'm glad you guys enjoyed it for the most part. It is open for filming if anyone wants to take a crack at it.


"IF YOU DOUBLE SPACED YOUR FRIGGIN' SLUGS THIS WOULDN'T MAKE ONE PAGE!"

People who use Final Draft tend to attack us Movie Magicians when it comes to spacing. The way I have it is the default in MM.  It's just smaller than Final Draft's.  

I guess we have an advantage.

-Cheers.
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