A Face to Die For by Jean-Pierre Chapoteau - Short, Dark Comedy - Tragedy falls upon a man who holds the ability to make people laugh by a simple gesture. 6 pages - pdf, format 8)

Nicely written.

I think you should change the logline because it basically ruins the story up until the 4th page or so but thats just a thought.

Anyways, the script. A unique idea but I don't think it should've been executed this way. I didn't get it. Was Jeff meant to be bad or good? It just seems to me that he is walking around by the end of the story making THE FACE just because he can. I didn't really see a motive for it to happen but that was just my opinion.

I also got this 50s detective story feel to this story and I liked that.

Overall, a nice read.

Ah, I guess it does give it away :( Thanks man. I don't know how to change it though.

"I didn't get it. Was Jeff meant to be bad or good? "

Jeff was a regular guy. I guess he was good. He was just using his "power" to get ahead in life. He didn't mean to harm anyone.

"It just seems to me that he is walking around by the end of the story making THE FACE just because he can. I didn't really see a motive for it to happen but that was just my opinion."

Hm... that's interesting. I thought it was kinda clear. I guess not, huh?

*spoiler*

w/ the landlord: Jeff wanted him to forget about his rent.
w/ the boss: Jeff wanted him to stop yelling at him.
w/ Tough Guys: Jeff wanted to protect Yhanna.
w/ police officer: Jeff wanted to get out of paying the ticket.
w/ homeless boy: Jeff wanted to make him stop crying.

I hope that clears everything up.  Thanks for the review. I really appreciate it.