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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  I'm lost.  Re: Mini slugs
Posted by: Conz, January 26th, 2012, 5:53pm
these bastards always bite me in the ass.

I'm developing a habit where I set large chunks of scripts in an outdoor place, and never really have an idea how to break up the sluglines.  I can't go 20 pages straight using just mini slugs, but at the same, I feel like in most cases the use of a slugline is wrong.

Let's set the scene --

It's inside of a large non descript arena.  There are two stages, a few small shelters (just for reference, let's say little swag and food areas) and in between the stages, a large pedastool type perch.

How do I break these up.  I have no problem with EXT. STAGE 1 - DAY  but there's going to be a crowd, and the crowd is going to interact while a band is on stage.  Do I have to break that up everytime?  If I intercut earlier in the script, do I have to continue doing that?

EXT. STAGE 2 - DAY

The band blah blah, who gives a crap.

EXT. CROWD - DAY

Joe and The other guy mosh.

???


I don't want to keep just using

EXT. STAGE 2 - DAY

.........

THE CROWD

...........

INTERCUT - STAGE 2




and i mean, if it's in an arena, do I use 'INT.?"  I'm lost.  
Posted by: Conz, January 26th, 2012, 5:57pm; Reply: 1
while im here

I have a character talking in the distance, only semi visable in dim lighting.  does he require a (O.S.)?
Posted by: leitskev, January 26th, 2012, 7:09pm; Reply: 2
I have grappled with slugs in this last year of learning how to write, Conz. There is no right answer. But I have read a lot of optioned scripts in the last several months, and I would say stay focused on your objective, which is to make sure the story is clear, and then make sure things flow as efficiently as possible so that the reader keeps reading. Don't make the mistake of adding slugs needlessly because you think there is some technical requirement. If you have an outdoor scene, don't break things up where you don't need to. And don't forget the option of using POV when needed.

An even better trick is to direct the shot in the manner of a sneaky ba$terd. Write things in the order you want the READER to see them in his mind. Direct the film in his head. Sometimes there are easy ways to imply the POV is momentarily shifting without having to clutter your script with a new slug or POV. If I have time, I'll look for an example. Good writers are crafty. They know how to keep us reading, keep us entertained if possible. That's a thousand times more important than any technical consideration. If someone buys your script, they can get more technical on a shooting script.
Posted by: Conz, January 26th, 2012, 7:41pm; Reply: 3
i dont like POV and ive heard not to use it, but i do find myself writing "Joe glares at Mark"  dumb stuff like that i definitely need to expand on, or word differently.
Posted by: leitskev, January 26th, 2012, 8:29pm; Reply: 4
Yeah, I agree, and that's what I mean by sneaky ba$terd tricks. You can write your story in such a way that our eye wanders briefly to where you want it without bothering to say POV. For example, your protag is driving down Hollywood Boulevard. Your slug is inside the car. But you can describe things that the driver sees on the street. Let's say while you are doing this, you describe a young hottie pinching some guy on the ass. This borders on a close up, and the director would likely shoot it that way. But I don't think you need to to CLOSE UP or POV. Just describe it. The director will shoot how he chooses. In the film you are creating in our mind with the script, we'll probably see it close up, but all you really have to do is describe it, and we'll do that on our own.

This also applies to "we see"'s. They look annoying in a script. Yet sometimes we want to describe the shot, the sequence of shots. There are ways to do this that result in the reader doing this on their own, without using 'we see'. I am trying to master this. And you know, it surprisingly not hard either, and I'm a mediocre writer.

Don't clutter your script with slugs that we don't need to see the story. That's my advice. Write it the way you would want to read it if it were someone else's work.  Not everyone will agree with that here. So read some pro scripts, and decide what works best for you.
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), January 26th, 2012, 8:48pm; Reply: 5
Mini slugs are good for continuous scenes.

INT.  KITCHEN - DAY

John grabs a beer from the fridge.  He POPS it open and walks through the doorway into--


THE LIVING ROOM

He plops down on the couch and reaches for the remote.


Regarding the (O.S.), if the character is in the shot, you don't need it.


Phil
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