Dark Side Rising by Michael Banno - Action, Adventure - A group of supernatural law enforcers find themselves involved in a plot to bring back a horror legacy concerning werewolves. 97 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi Michael - first page was a bit wierd - came out on its side for some reason?

There's lots of detail here that isn't really needed - Kayla getting out of her car etc - this could do with some trimimng.

I'm jumping out at page 3. So far:

Kayla's parked her car - Jackson asked if she wanted a hand carrrying her bags - they get the elevator to her apartment - she heads to the kitchen, and realises she's not invited Jackson in.

And that's really it - over three pages. I think this needs to be heavily trimmed.

Simon

Very intriguing. I also think there's too much detail that isn't necessary.

I'm new to screenwriting so I'm unsure of the etiquette when writing scenes and describing movement or objects.

Otherwise, I'm very interested so far. I'm at page 10 and I think I'm going to continue reading.  I like the suspense when Jackson was searching the rooms.  It made me want to read more.

I'm sorry, Michael. I had to stop reading at about page 27 once I got to Izzy's Store.  As I said before, it seems very intriguing and I enjoy the pace, but I have no clue what's going on.  Once I got to Izzy's I was completely lost.

It seems the characters are the only ones who know what's going on. Dialogue doesn't reveal enough plot.  

However, I did enjoy it and I think I'll come back in a few days and give it another shot.  I think there's more to this and right now I'm just reading through background of the characters and plot. I'm hoping it will pick up.

Jojo

It's funny that you're commenting on too much detail. I usually fear that I don't put in enough. Perhaps unconsciously I put in too much in counter to this. I think it does pick up later in my opinion. Thank you for at least giving it a read.