From Within by Chad Carr (reason01) & Michael Ladiona - Short, Horror - A secret division of the LAPD is assigned to investigate cases of crimes committed by those suspected of demonic possession. 47 pages - pdf, format 8)

Wow, this is an interesting concept you have here. The story hooked me completely since the begining. I haven't finish it yet, just 7 pages. But really, cool stuff here. Is this meant to be a serie? If this is the case. You should have been post it in the series category.

The only problem I have with your script are the dialogues. You have to work with them. Don't be offend but they sound a little bit lame.But I like your story and your cocept a lot. I let you no more when I finish it.

Action looks good. Only a couple pages in, so far. Your dialogue is too on the nose in some parts and in others, obviously trying to cram in too much backstory. Make the dialogue seem real. Your premise definitely hooked me. I will let you know more as a read further.

Devin Rush