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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Short Scripts / The Childrens Author
Posted by: Don, June 2nd, 2012, 3:35pm
The Childrens Author by Ronald K. Jones - Drama - Ultra-conservative children's author, Margarete Ferrell, has her beliefs and humanity tested when a black family moves in next door with an adopted 8-year-old West African boy whose unchristian, tribal beliefs ignite suspicion and prejudice in her and her typical American middle class family (circa early 21st Century). It takes a near fatal stroke suffered by Margarete's aging husband to bring the festering wounds and fears between the family and its neighbors out into the open, and to a final resolving of their conflicts, even curing Margarete's terrible writer's block. 64 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: danbotha, June 2nd, 2012, 6:17pm; Reply: 1
From reading your logline, I can tell you that I rally really want to read this. Anything involving racial prejudice has to be good! However, I can't get past the first page, because your action paragraphs are in CAPS!
Sorry
Daniel
Posted by: Forgive, June 3rd, 2012, 9:24am; Reply: 2
Not too sure that you need all the character information here ...
And the CAPS is very off-putting.
Re. you log-line - it appears to be almost a synopsis.
## EXT.SHOT OF
-- not need to specify 'shot' in your slug line.
INT, POLICE STATION
-- should be
INT. POLICE STATION - DAY
Your dialogue lines aren't formatted correctly - looks like you may not be using any additional software to help you write this?
I think you need to check a couple of scripts, really, to see how they look and how they are written.
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