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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Series  /  Guardian Spirits Evolution
Posted by: Don, July 23rd, 2012, 6:58pm
Guardian Spirits Evolution EXE Episode 1 by David Arkon (ChronosSkyz) - Series, Anime - The Wire is a virtual world of freedom and eventually death. Takahashi Ryo is a renown hacker who is offered to join a government agency after a hacking job gone wrong. He accepts to investigate and avenge his friend's death. Meanwhile, he is also looking for the cure that can stop him from dying and also looking for a mysterious virus called the "Wired Ghost", which seems to portray some similar abilities Ryo has and it may have the answer to his cure. 42 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: rolo, August 12th, 2012, 5:04pm; Reply: 1
Stopped reading this after three or four pages. Why? Because your script is littered with "wrylies"! This could be the best script ever written, but putting ("Happily"), ("Angrily"), ("Impatiently") marks you as an amateur!

But don't just take my word for it, read some of the produced 'professional' screenplays available on this site and I bet you can count the number of 'wrylies' on one hand.

Hope this doesn't sound too harsh?! My first efforts were also full of 'wrylies'! It's something most newbies do. Make your writing look as professional as possible, cut the 'wrylies'!

Good luck!
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