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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board / Screenwriting Class / Radio communication fomatting
Posted by: dkfrizzell, August 31st, 2012, 7:16am
I have two characters in an aircraft that communicate over a radio headset, what would be the best way to indicate they are speaking into the mic and not to themselves.
With a telephone, it's easy, you just show the user picking up the phone and saying "Hello".
I was thinking of something like:
CANE
(into the mic)
Hey. You dead yet?
ABLE (V.O.)
I think I might be.
CANE
(into the mic)
Suck it up, buttercup. We're just getting started.
(to himself)
...and it's going to be a long day.
I have about 4 scenes where dialog takes place over the headsets. Do I need to have parentheticals every time they speak? Is the first one enough? Or do I even need them at all?
Thanks for the suggestions.
Posted by: leitskev, August 31st, 2012, 8:17am; Reply: 1
Hey DK. Long time no see. I remember your cool short, forgot the name, but I remember the story.
I think you are doing it correct, except you don't have to say "into the mic" each time if it's understood. You only have to say it once.
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), August 31st, 2012, 8:18am; Reply: 2
I don't think you need them at all, but I'm not a pilot and I'm not sure if it takes anything to initiate communication. I would not have your characters talking to themselves, BTW.
You may want to check out a script like Topgun, or any other such flying movie ad see how they did it, not that you have to copy that, necessarily.
Posted by: leitskev, August 31st, 2012, 10:06am; Reply: 3
Maybe an intercut, like a phone call?
As long as it's clear to the reader, you should be cool.
Posted by: dkfrizzell, August 31st, 2012, 10:44am; Reply: 4
Thanks Guys!
A paren the first time is what I was thinking just so the reader can see how they are speaking to each other. After that it can be inferred.
I did look at a few scripts (Top Gun/Pear Harbor/etc.) but couldn't find anything useful. They all seemed to use a different method (and most were shooting scripts which I've noticed don't follow the same general rules us noobs must to adhere to.)
A far as the intercut, I didn't want to overwhelm the story with too many intercuts so I tried to intermix them with (V.O.)'s/mini-slugs/etc just enough to keep from being annoying to the reader.
Dreamscale: 10-4 on them not talking to themselves. In this case, I just wanted my example to be clear as to what I was looking for.
Leitskev: I'm still here. Just been lurking and writing. Putting the final coat of wax on my first feature now; should be ready to set free this weekend! Over six months to write it... can't wait to hear some feedback.
Thanks again.
Posted by: leitskev, August 31st, 2012, 10:48am; Reply: 5
Popping your feature cherry. Congrats.
I agree, I prefer the first way you posted, and just say "into the radio" or "into the mic" the first time. I think into the radio is better, myself. They wear helmets, so we don't see them talking, we hear over the radio.
Good luck.
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