Hey guys,

I've recently invested quite a fair bit of my time into the making of one music video for a local band down in NZ. Thought some of you may be interested enough to see how things turn out when I get behind the camera. So here it is...

Oh yeah, remember that the video was done by no one above the age of 18. The vid is 100% a high school project. Apologies if the music isn't to your liking.




Dan

Not bad.

What i would suggest is cutting down the intro because it's way too long.  

Also, I'm not really certain I understood the story and I didn't find the lyrics clear enough to really get it.   I would try to pump up the story a bit more so it's easier to follow without the words.  Maybe, spend a bit more time on the story and less on the band.        

I got a kick out of this.  Is the name of the song  "I Love Jenny"?  Should be.   That's what I got out of the story.   Teenage love.   Thanks for sharing it.

Great job!

I loved the set. The intro was a lil long. The 'on the floor paper thing' was just a tad overdone maybe...loved the story though. The teddybear dropping could have been done a lil different maybe even in slo-mo possibly..or I'd like to have seen a lil more of the break up...love the 'hope' at the end though. One other thing...in some scenes where you went from out of focus to infocus...may try going slower into it so it doesn't feel jerky ...be careful and don't overuse that technique though.

Really good job. I can't wait to see some of your short films! Rock on! Write on!

d

Quoted from mcornetto Not bad. What i would suggest is cutting down the intro because it's way too long.

X2

Hey Dan.

Seems like you've been pretty busy.  Hope you're keeping your grades up.  :-)

Anyway, not too bad.  I really liked the guitar in the song.  (Speaking as a guitarist myself.)

Don't know if I followed the story you were trying to tell, though.  Is it linear?  First, they were happy, then he saw her with somebody else and was upset, then she's trying to make amends at the end with him but he's not too sure?

Nevertheless, an interesting start to what can turn into a promising career.

- Mark

I think it was a good effort. Like Michael, I think the beginning is too long, but I've seen professional videos that did the same thing. Not sure if you were emulating them.

I didn't understand any of the words, so to me it was a bunch of random images set to music. I liked the song, though (other than not understanding the words).

Overall, I think you did a good job. :)

Hey Dan - well done on this one - great way to start.

I'd agree with the intro as well -- but also I'd say that the band and the 'story' should be separate - so you start on the location of the band - maybe better to start on the story, instead of having the band walk in??

Apart from that, well done - good stuff.

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

EEEEP! That intro is about 45 seconds long. Think I agree that maybe it was too long. The co-director and I (as well as the band leader) were going for an ambient type thing to set the mood for the song.

As for the story, they're based solely on the lyrics. But, there lies a problem in that ;D . Basically it's about this man who has chasing after this same girl for 15 years, trying to think of the perfect declaration of love. She only ever seems to be interested in friendship and ditches him for the 'big popular guy' (ironically played by a guy who hates the whole popularity thing...). After that, he is thrown into a life of depression, until one day she rings him up and turns up at his front door. The ending is left for your interpretation :)

Have to admit I have to confess to being the person at fault for the lack of understanding with the story as I wrote the screenplay for the video. Apologies for that.

Great to see that overall people seem to like it. You guys rock at giving feedback!

Dan

Awesome.
You're very productive.
Keep it up, Dan.

Awesome stuff, Dan.

The band’s good, got a good sound about them and of course the directing is superb. The kid trashing his room reminded me of Muse’s video for “Hysteria” but toned down a little – guess someone’s parents would have gone ape shit if you trashed it too much. ;D

You must have travelled to film this one – I saw blue skies in the background, doesn’t look like NZ to me? ;D

Thanks Steex and Steve.

Quoted from CoopBazinga The kid trashing his room reminded me of Muse’s video for “Hysteria” but toned down a little – guess someone’s parents would have gone ape shit if you trashed it too much.

Yeah, Mum had an absolute nut when she saw the state of the house ;D

Quoted from CoopBazinga You must have travelled to film this one – I saw blue skies in the background, doesn’t look like NZ to me?

22 degrees today thank you very much! Another hot and sunny day. Pity I have to study for exams, otherwise I would be making the most of it.

Cheers guys. Appreciate the feedback :)

Dan

Hey Dan,

Gr8 effort, the music is great and these guys are really talented.

Have to agree with the other's that the intro was a tad long and could do with some trimming.

Look forward to reading some directors credits from you further down the tract, not forgetting to mention writing credits as well.

Alex

You could save the intro if you left the initial pause at maybe 5 seconds to build ambience, then intersperse flash cuts to later shots in the story.

Great job Dan- Pretty talented for a young fella.

Didn't know I had more feedback on this. Thanks, everyone!

@Alex No doubt about it, the intro is too long. Definitely will take that into account in the future.

@DanBall First off, welcome to SS, mate. The point of the intro was to create ambience, anyway. I guess we didn't quite get that right. Anyway thanks for the feedback and the suggestion :)

@Dirk Thank you! The goal is to have a couple indie credits under my wing before I hit Uni :)

Cheers guys :)