Big Hole by Michael Hall - Action, Adventure - Exciting family adventure in which adversity reunites a broken family in a battle to save their lives.   - html, format 8)

Hey Michael,

Have to say your link caught me by surprise, I would prefer to see a PDF on a white page with courier font and in a standard screenplay format.

Your dialogue should be centered, parenthicals are also wrong.

Every few lines you give camera directions, that is the directors job, not the screenwriters responsibility.

Action lines need to be tightened up, get rid of excess words and keep it to a bare minimum.

If this is your first effort at screenwriting, keep at it, I think it shows potential and once you read more screenplays to get accustomed to the format, it will improve the script enormously.

Keep at it.

Alex

Hi Michael,

You need to download a screenwriting software. You know the basics of screenwriting, you just need a software. Most, if not all, softwares give you the option for you to convert your script to a PDF file, when you finish.

You can upload it again as a PDF file. Is much easier to read.

:)

Your logline caught my eye, because it's the most vague storyline I've read in some time.  You need more specifics to hook a reader, I believe.  It's like a logline that reads "A man must overcome obstacles to achieve his goal."

It doesn't look as if Michael is here to benefit from advice, which he sorely needs. It says it's a first rough draft so all credit to him for giving it a go. Favourite scene heading: EXT. VICIOUS DOGS - NIGHT