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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Screenwriting Class  /  Specifying the time in an action line
Posted by: Felipe, September 27th, 2012, 1:01pm
Hey everyone,

Forgive me if this has been discussed, but I have run into a little bit of a snag in a short I'm writing.

The story requires that I specify the exact time down to the second and I was wondering what the appropriate way to do that would be. I've been cautioned not to use numerical symbols in my scripts before so I wonder if that still applies here. Any help is appreciated!

Felipe
Posted by: leitskev, September 27th, 2012, 1:03pm; Reply: 1
How is the time shown in the film? A title? A clock in the background?

Or is it not shown, but the director needs to know?

Maybe you could give an example.
Posted by: Felipe, September 27th, 2012, 1:11pm; Reply: 2
We are looking directly at a clock as the time changes. We need to know where the hands started and where they ended up, so two different times.
Posted by: bert, September 27th, 2012, 1:17pm; Reply: 3
If it is critical, of course you say it.  Describe the clock (if necessary) and simply state what time it shows.


Quoted from Felipe
I've been cautioned not to use numerical symbols in my scripts before so I wonder if that still applies here.


Who on earth told you that?  Poppycock.
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, September 27th, 2012, 1:26pm; Reply: 4
My understanding about numerical symbols differs slightly...

I've been told that some folks consider numbers in dialogue chains is a no-no.
BUT... I've never heard that numbers are poo-poo'd in action descriptions.
That's new. I see them in descriptives all the time.

Regards,
E.D.
Posted by: Felipe, September 27th, 2012, 1:28pm; Reply: 5
It was in my first OWC (the unofficial December one).

I wrote "3" instead of "three" several times without realizing it and several people called me on it.

In either case, should I write the time as 6:45:23 or actually write out Six forty-five blah blah blah?
Posted by: Breanne Mattson, September 27th, 2012, 2:44pm; Reply: 6

Quoted from Felipe
It was in my first OWC (the unofficial December one).

I wrote "3" instead of "three" several times without realizing it and several people called me on it.


Where do people come up with this shit? Haha. I used to have hangups like that until I realized how silly it was.


Quoted from Felipe
In either case, should I write the time as 6:45:23 or actually write out Six forty-five blah blah blah?


Write it whatever way is clearest. Personally, in this case, I think the numbers look better. I usually only spell numbers out when it's in dialogue and I need to make sure the actor knows how to say it.
Posted by: Forgive, September 27th, 2012, 6:46pm; Reply: 7
I wouldn't poo poo so readily.

If you are looking at a clock or a digital interface, then you can legitimately go for:

CLOSE (ON): Clock reads "3:45" - or similar.

If it is part of the dialogue (which it doesn't appear to be), then the numerical is written:

     Dale
Three forty five.
Posted by: mcornetto (Guest), September 27th, 2012, 8:14pm; Reply: 8
Write what "we see" in the action (that's why we don't use we see because it's redundant).   If we see numbers then write the numbers as we would see them.  See?  
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, September 28th, 2012, 2:48am; Reply: 9

Quoted from Felipe
It was in my first OWC (the unofficial December one).

I wrote "3" instead of "three" several times without realizing it and several people called me on it.

In either case, should I write the time as 6:45:23 or actually write out Six forty-five blah blah blah?


Definitely use the numeric symbols in action descriptions.
I see it all the time in specs... as a matter of fact...
EVERY TIME there's a ticking bomb in a spec! ;D

Regards,
E.D.
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), September 28th, 2012, 11:26am; Reply: 10

Quoted from Electric Dreamer
Definitely use the numeric symbols in action descriptions.
I see it all the time in specs... as a matter of fact...
EVERY TIME there's a ticking bomb in a spec! ;D

Regards,
E.D.


Felipe I went back to check up on who these people were who called you out for using numeric symbols, and it looks like it was only 1 person, in the final comment on the thread and I'm not sure how you used these numeric symbols.

As to what it is we're actually discussing here, I think it needs to be made clear when numeric symbols are acceptable and when they aren't.

If you're writing action prose and you write,

"The giant octopus is now only 5 miles away from Brett's new house on the shore.", it is incorrect, IMO.

But, if you write,

"The evil looking Jack-O-Lantern clock on the wall reads 4:20.", then you're cool.

Incorrect - "Felipe runs 15 feet at full speed and collapses."

Incorrect - "Brett holds 18 Polish sausages in his hands."

Correct - "The sign above the door reads 666 Park Avenue."

Correct - "Brett raises his arms in question.  The vendor points to a sign that reads 4 for $4."

Are we in agreement, or no?

Posted by: Felipe, September 28th, 2012, 11:43am; Reply: 11
That makes sense. Just wanted to make sure there wasn't some secret "rule" I'd be breaking.

I showed some other people the script and they brought it up. I'm sure I carelessly used it incorrectly in that script considering I submitted it on New Year's Eve.. in Rio... right before I went out to party. =D

Thanks for the help, everyone!
Posted by: Electric Dreamer, September 28th, 2012, 2:08pm; Reply: 12

Quoted from Dreamscale


If you're writing action prose and you write,

"The giant octopus is now only 5 miles away from Brett's new house on the shore.", it is incorrect, IMO.

But, if you write,

"The evil looking Jack-O-Lantern clock on the wall reads 4:20.", then you're cool.

Incorrect - "Felipe runs 15 feet at full speed and collapses."

Incorrect - "Brett holds 18 Polish sausages in his hands."

Correct - "The sign above the door reads 666 Park Avenue."

Correct - "Brett raises his arms in question.  The vendor points to a sign that reads 4 for $4."

Are we in agreement, or no?



Seconded!
Except I live a mile from the beach, not five. ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), September 28th, 2012, 2:33pm; Reply: 13

Quoted from Electric Dreamer
Seconded!
Except I live a mile from the beach, not five. ;D ;D ;D


But the giant octopus is still at sea in this scene.   ;D ;D ;D

And, how many Polish sausages can you hold in your hands at "one" time?   ;D ;D ;D

Posted by: Felipe, September 28th, 2012, 2:33pm; Reply: 14
You assume the giant octopus has reached the shore.
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), September 28th, 2012, 2:42pm; Reply: 15

Quoted from Felipe
You assume the giant octopus has reached the shore.


Poorly written example on my part, then...but then again, I haven't been to Brett's new place and didn't know the exact locales, either.


;D ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: Felipe, September 28th, 2012, 2:44pm; Reply: 16
Oh, no. I was saying that to Brett. We both typed our responses around the same time.
Posted by: Steex, October 3rd, 2012, 8:50pm; Reply: 17
Dreamscale is 100% correct.
At least from what I've read/heard.
I asked this question before.

If you're describing an actual number, it's okay.
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