Halo by David Clatworthy - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Three teenagers are drawn together from across the world to save the earth from Satan's destructive return. 80 - pdf, format 8)

Sometimes, when it opens in a word doc, you just know it's going to be a car crash. In some ways an interesting idea, but in just about everyother way -- just wrong.

What Sicoll007 said. When I click the link and I see the Microsoft Word icon that's already the first sign of an amateur writer. Download Celtx. It's free software and 100% worth it.

If you re-do this in proper format, I'll read it. But I'll give you advice on your logline, it's way to over-explained and cluttered. Get to the nuts n' bolts of your story and shorten it down to thirty or so words.

Hello David.

This format is just killing the flow and coherence of the story.  I made it a few pages before the structure was just too much.  Trelby is another free program you could try out and in either case, it will drastically improve your scripts readability.

In the pages I did read, I either found big chunks of dialogue or big chunks of description.  Based on the way the script is formatted, the long, all-caps action lines, and all of the unnecessary "CUT-TO's", this could end up as a lengthy short.

First thing's first, proper formatting then we'll see what we got.  Best of luck.