The Conflict by Steve Cadieux - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Stephen will have to stop the Government political conflict and stop world domination from eminent enemy attack. 95 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hello Steve.

First off, the logline is really vague and unappealing.  It needs some work.

I opened the script and to see a huge block of action lines followed by huge blocks of dialogue which, just by appearance, isn't looking good.

You've got way too much description followed by five pages of dialogue, it's exhausting.  Didn't make it past page two, sorry to say.  Chop out the pointless detail and trim the dialogue, perhaps make some of it a voice over while you illustrate what happens in the Valley of the Shadow.  Best of luck.

Thank you for checking it out, that why i posted here, so i can work on update on it, all see what i can do