I must be crazy if I'm actually posting this...

Here's the trailer for a short film I made earlier in the year. It's honestly so crap, it didn't even make it to youtube... Thought I'd post it for a little feedback.



I know it's not good. It's the constructive stuff I'm looking for :)

Dan

yeah there's really not enough here to even give an honest critique. there's no substance whatsoever. you just have a bunch of dudes running around in the grass. there's no sense of danger.

furthermore, i believe that "breathing apparatus" is actually a drinking tube connected to the backpack, correct? drank one too many vodka and cokes through those things...

my advice? shoot more, vary your shots. include snippets of dialogue.

oh and give us some head space.

best of luck with it.

Reminds me of a short film called CONNECTED, about two people who traverse through dangerous terrain with only a shared breathing apparatus. Check it out.

There's no need for your name on all of the credits. Your name with the other guy is enough. And take out iMovie cause no one actually uses it, do they? Eek.

Oh. My. God...

I am so incredibly sorry for those who had to sit through that. Just to clear up I didn't post it last night. I left my SS page open and he obviously thought it would be quite a funny little joke to pull. While I appreciate the feedback I wasn't actually looking for any.

An increasingly embarassed Dan

By 'he' I mean my brother. Sorry guys. Can the moderators please lock this thread?

I would watch it.
I'm a big fan of open fields and barns.
:0 :)

OMG you post that and then ya say it was a joke/mistake??? :)

NOW I wanna see the script! Was interesting enough to me :) to wanna know more!

It's good that you aren't afraid to use a camera! Keep us posted DAN :)

I liked the kid with the breathing apparatus, he seems committed to the craft.  ;D

Congrats Dan! Get some dialogue on that puppy so we can hear what's going on.

IMHO, the film looks small and very low budget. That in itself doesn't mean anything bad, but it clashes terribly with the text and music which is more of epic proportions. I think it would help a lot if you matched it a little better.

Glad you made a short film though. More than I can say about myself. I haven't even touched my camera since last summer.

Quoted from danbotha Can the moderators please lock this thread?

Ha!  No such luck, dude.

Actually, I just noticed this. Sorry.

Locking the thread will do you no good, Danno -- the evidence would still be there.

However, if you want the whole shebang deleted, I can do that.  Let me know your preferences.

i just loved all the Dan Botha's at the end - spooky. Cousins?

You know what, at 15, you have probably just learnt a good lesson. Prepare. boys running around to a sound track is not enough.

i have never filmed a.. err, film, so you are ahead of me on that. Glad to see south NZ is as green as it was when  drove through it a few years back, actually 1999 new years eve, had 2000 up in Queenstown, drove past Invagargil on the way. Remember the Maclean waterfalls up the road, but i digress.

keep on going dan

Alright, I guess there's no knocking this one down to the bottom of the Portal. While I'm still embarassed, I think it would be best if I at least responded to you all.

This was a no budget short film I did. The entire thing was pretty much planned overnight and shot in one day. I wanted to see if I could actually piece a film together that kinda made sense. I actually stopped work on it after spending a few weeks on this board and realising how weak the story at hand was and how many flaws it had. No worries... We had ourselves a lot of fun, no matter how crap the quality turned out to be.

albinopenguin, thank you for hopping onto this one quickly. The breathing apparatus... Yeah it's an old Camel Back I used to use for mountain biking. The idea is to keep you hydrated while you ride. Revolutionary stuff... Guess it could be put to better use with that vodka and coke, you mentioned ;D ;D

Austin... I can explain most of the credits thing. The reason my name is mentioned on all the credits is because I did this trailer on iMovie. They have a special program where you just drag clips into the trailer section and it automatically makes the trailer. That's also why there is no dialogue. Thanks Austin. I have seen CONNECTED.

Steex... Big fan of open fields and barns?? Righto? ;D ;D Thanks for watching. I appreciate it.

Thanks Dena. I'm surprised you want to see more, to be honest. There really isn't much in the script or the short film. I read through the script not too long ago... It's amazing how much I've learned after just a couple months here. You guys are great. I like being behind the camera. It's good fun :)

Dirk... The kid with the breathing apparatus was probably the most into the whole thing. He seemed to have a lot of fun with it. Cody Demchy is his name... Keep an eye out for him ;D

Pia thank you for being honest. I was nervous you would stumble across this for some reason. If you read the text carefully... It doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. The sentences don't match up. The first line contradicts itself as well ... "In the near distant future..." Whoops. Anyway thanks for having a look.

Bert, leave it up, please. I may as well learn while it's still up.

Thanks Bill. I may as well learn all these things before anything big happens. I'll be more prepared next time. Why would you drive past Invers?? There's nothing here! Sounds like you've been through the Catlins, though. Probably one of the most scenic places in New Zealand. Thanks for having a look Bill.

I really am interested in seeing the whole thing though, Dan!

When is this movie gonna come out? It looks really good.