Quoted from Opening ...it's a police car for Navajo county...accompanying Rambo as he is walking by the side of the road. Rambo is getting nervous. |
Quoted Text It's Rambo's natural instinct to be on his guard at all times; it's drilled into him to be cautious |
Quoted Text ROWTAG (defiant) You were a POW for 6 months in that hellhole before you escaped. It was a miracle that you got out! |
Quoted Text ERIC GALT is in his early forties with prematurely thinning red hair. He is about 5 foot 10 and of stocky muscular build. He is a retired special forces veteran who has become something of an entrepreneur when he started his own private contract security firm, STILLWATER SECURITY CONTRACTORS(SSC). Now he has a multi-million dollar business with plenty of under the table contract work for the government to fill his pockets. Especially taking care of the illegal immigration problems that Arizona has been plagued with. Life has been good for Mr. Galt, but it's about to get a lot better. |
Quoted from Hickslv426 I didn't mean to upset anyone by trying my hand at using such an iconic character... |
Quoted from Hickslv426 I'm just looking for some constructive criticism... |
Quoted from Hickslv426 I won't be rewriting this script. |
Quoted from Hickslv426 I've already moved on to my next fan script for another famous action film from the 80s. Why? Because it amuses me immensely! |
Quoted from Hickslv426 Bert- Why do people on this forum always make fun of author's when they register their work on WGA? |
Quoted from Hickslv426 At least Bert liked the fact that I got all the weapons correct or something. |
Quoted from Script It's Rambo's natural instinct to be on his guard at all times; it's drilled into him to be cautious. |
Quoted from Script The man is also reeking of alcohol. |
Quoted from bert When we reach the helicopter attack, your action is well-written, and well-paced, but it would read better if you focused less on the camera angles and more on the action itself. It distracts so much from the flow. The rock-throwing was a little silly, to me. It would be nice to give Rambo something a little more dignified than that. Another troubling aspect of your conclusion is the character of Teasle. Who is this guy, and what the heck happened to Galt? Now, granted, I did skip ahead a bit, but I spent about 50 pages with Galt, and 0 with Teasle, so I can tell you simply by instinct that there is something fundamentally wrong with the arc of this story. |