Or, more appropriately titled, A Good Day To Take A Shit cos' that's what this movie is. A massive pile of foul feces.

I knew going in that it wasn't gonna be good,  I mean, 2, 3 and 4 really weren't any good but they didn't exactly suck. After all, it's a Die Hard movie, right? Right?

So what's it all about? Yeah, good question. This is what I remember (bear in mind that I yawned quit a few times during the movie so it's not out of the realm of possibilities that I actually dozed off for a minute or two):

Alright, there's this Russian guy who wants another Russian guy dead because he supposedly has a file that will prove that the first Russian guy was responsible for the Chernobyl dissaster. However, the Americans wants to keep the other Russian guy alive so enter John McClaine Jr. who's a CIA spook. The second Russian guy is awaiting trail in Moscow where he will do a tell-all in court and the first Russian guy is obviously not interested in seeing that happen. John Jr. gets himself arrested so that can be used as a witness or something in the other Russian guy's trail. Pappa McClaine (who has no clue his son works for the CIA) obviously wants to help his son so he flies to Moscow for the trail.

Baddies show up at the trail and blow all sorts of shit up but John Jr. and the second Russian guy escape and are on the way to a CIA pickup when the bump into McClaine Sr. Father and son (who aren't on speaking terms) have a ridiculous back and forth while the baddies are closing in.

What follows - and I have to give them that - is one of the best, or should I say most destructive, car chases I have ever seen. I think somewhere in the neighborhood of a thousand cars get smashed up. So the the McClains and the second Russian guy gets away and head for a CIA safe house. The CIA handler tells the Russian guy that they will send him to safety in the US if he hands over the file. He agrees but he wants his daughter with him. No problem. BOOM. They get attacked again and barely make it out alive. After that they head to a hotel where they will meet the daughter and pick up a key for a bank box where the file is hidden.

So they retreive the key and the daughter shows up. We already know she's a baddie because she's seen doing bad shit in the start of the movie. So she sells out her dad and a group of more Russian baddies show up and shoot the place up. Senior and Junior obviously kill most of the baddies but not before they whisk away the Russian guy in a helicopter. And it's not just some regular commercial helicopter, like a Bell or Sikorsky (or their Russian counter parts), no, they have a fucking Hind gunship blasting up downtown Moscow. This is the type of shit that, had I been 16 years old, would've given me an instant hard on but, pushing 40, I'm like "fuck you".

So after the father and son have one of their many toe-cringingly pathetic father-son moments they decide to go after them - to Chernobyl, because that's where the vault is. Okey-dokey.

So the baddies arive in the deserted Chernobyl (in HazMat gear) and open the vault (with the most impressive key I have ever seen). Inside the vault is a stockpile of enriched uranium, weapon's grade. The vault is also filled with radioactive material but the baddies have a chemical agent they can spray into the vault that neutralizes the radioactivity. Really? That's impressive. Especially cos' such an agent doesn't fucking exist and never fucking will. Anyway, this is where the plot thickens because it turns out that the Russian guy we thought was good is actually bad because apparently he had planned it all from the start so that he could get back into his vault and retreive his uranium (worth billions).

Obviously this is where the McClaines show up and ruin the party. Bang, bang, bang. Baddies die left and right. Bruce does his "yippie kay yay motherfucker" routine and saves the day. The father and son return home where there is a big reunion with the daughter from the fourth movie (with a nauseating string musical piece) - this scene will not make you want to throw up, it will actually make you throw up.

That's when I practically ran out of the theater.

A bullshit story with more holes than a sieve, bad jokes, rediculous twists and a father-son relationship subplot that couldn't be more shoehorned into it even if they tried.

It gets half a star out of six for the kick ass car chace.

Uh...Sniper, you fuckwad...how about some SPOILERS here, huh?  This hasn't even been released here in the states.

Now, hopefully, you know when I call you a fuckwad, I assume we're on good enough terms where that won't be an issue, but if it is, you have the right to call me a fucktard back...but not a fuckwad.

I had to stop reading your review, because otherwise, I would have known the entire movie.

So, you hated it?  IS that what I'm getting?  Trailers really look good to me.  I agree the sequels weren't what anyone will call great film making, but I'll tell ya...they've all worked for me in some regard...a few quite well, actually.

What up, Rob?

Snipe, that review is hilarious! Loved some of your comments.

I watched the trailer for this - actually that's all I do with movies is watch the trailers on my IMDB app. I don't go see any of them, I just watch trailers for the hell of it.

Anyway, the trailer for this looked pretty cool, but I guess they all do.

I have never seen 2 and 3 of the series but loved the first 2 obviously.

Good stuff, Sniper! Lol

Quoted from stevie I have never seen 2 and 3 of the series but loved the first 2 obviously.

There's that quality Aussie education on display...loved the first 2 but haven't seen 2 or 3.

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Sorry bro, couldn't resist!!!!

Quoted from Dreamscale There's that quality Aussie education on display...loved the first 2 but haven't seen 2 or 3. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Sorry bro, couldn't resist!!!!

Sorry, should be haven't seen 3 and 4!  

"The vault is also filled with radioactive material but the baddies have a chemical agent they can spray into the vault that neutralizes the radioactivity. "

I think the patent to that would be worth trillions. Silly rabbits.

Nice review. Saved me 15 bucks.

Quoted from Dreamscale Uh...Sniper, you fuckwad

Why you little...!

Spoilers? Oh, yeah. Whoops  ;)

Jeff, I know you're gonna see this movie no matter what but trust me, bro, you don't want to. It's that bad. Sure it's got plenty of action but somehow it just never got entertaining. And those father-son moments. Jesus Christ. I have never seen more inappropriate timed scenes in my life. But even worse, the acting is terrible, even Bruce. Clearly this was just a paycheck for him because he phoned in his performance big time. It's really sad. Die Hard used to be a great franchise but they killed it with this one.

How's it going at your end, buddy? Still kicking it in AZ?

Quoted from stevie I have never seen 2 and 3 of the series but loved the first 2 obviously.

Haha - classic Stevie shit right there.

It's up to 9% on Rotten Tomatoes!  So there's at least that...

Quoted from sniper How's it going at your end, buddy? Still kicking it in AZ?

Yes. Life is improving once again.  Met 2 future wives this last week.   ;D ;D

Quoted from Dreamscale Yes. Life is improving once again.  My right hand sent me a Valentine's day card

When this flick started production, my intrest was near the "zero" mark because
1- JJohn Moore was directing and as much as I liked Behind Enemy Lines I have gotten (as many other people) wary of rapid-cutting /shutter speed manip/ shaky cam work. His films since Lines have been disappointments. Two of them remakes that weren't needed, including The Omen.

2- Unlike previous installments, the new film wasn't based off a book or rewritten from an unrelated spec screenplay. In addition, the new script would be written by Skip Woods. Not a bad writer by any means, but one can't help notice the pix he gets to write wind up being mildly entertaining at best but still underwhelming.

3- The new film would be set in Moscow.

4- Bonnie Bedilia still isn't back. >:(

5 Bruce Willis doesn't need another Die Hard to fall back on.

and 6 The release date was not in the summer months, but in the late winter graveyard.


But then I saw the trailer. I liked that Jay Courtney was cast. Hey, this might be alright.

This weekend, even though the film was trashed by critics, it still made enough for the top spot. We'll see what happens next week.

I can't really comment on how good or bad I thought the film was; when I heard the early (and current) reviews it seems my fears were confirmed. I decided to skip the film and save my cash and time.

Question - given the advanced reviews, why is anyone still going to see this? Here's an article that tells you the producers are literally giving the American moviegoers the middle finger...

http://www.vulture.com/2013/02/good-day-to-die-hard-doesnt-need-the-us.html?mid=imdb

I thought Die Hard 5 was good, but obviously the worst in the Die Hard franchise.

The villans in this Die Hard just did not stand out like they did in the previous Die Hards.

Also, I think they should have picked someone else to play the role of John Jr.   This guy just didn't seem to fit well opposite of Bruce Willis.

"...and the quarterback is toast!"

Well, Rob, you were correct, knowing damn well it was not going to be a good movie, I had to see it anyways.

And...it's not a good movie.  It's not a good Die Hard movie.  Actually, IMO, it's barely a Die Hard movie at all.

I hated the way it was filmed with the extreme close ups and lightning quick edits/cuts/etc.  Hard to follow what's actually going down, but that's probably because they were doing their best to conceal what was actually going down, as in the $92 Million budget wasn't enough for all the mayhem on display.

I hated the father/son relationship.  It was indeed cringe worthy at times.  I also did not like the pairing of Willis with Courtney.  Actually, I really hated the son character all the way around.

No cool bad guy here at all, which is a fatal flaw in a Die Hard flick.

Very convoluted story line and when you think about it, very few actual scenes other than a long winded (but cool) car chase through the streets of Moscow, and several gunfights in about 4 locations. That's it!

I really get pissed off when logic and reality are just tossed out the window like they were here.  The stuff about the "spray" that eradicates the radioactivity is ludicrous.  But another fact they decided not to worry about IMO, is even worse.  Check this out, kids...

So, the McClanes have to drive to Pripyat to intercept those scheming Russians (even though not a single character is actually played by a Russian), right.  The baddies made their way there in a kick ass chopper, but our boys have to steal a Maybach and make the approximate 431 mile drive.  431 miles?  Hmmm, let's see...I think we're talking about a 5 or 6 hour drive, aren't we?  You'd think that the fake Russkies would be long done with their business before our heroes arrive,, wouldn't you?  I mean, shit, they pulled up in a super chopper and seemed to have lots of other people and vehicles already there, but in Movieland, the McClanes arrive literally at the perfect time.

Lots of action.  Lots of devastation.  Very little Die Hard, though, and that's too bad.  I actually wonder if this was even originally written as a Die Hard sequel?  Sure doesn't have that Die Hard feel, as far as I'm concerned.

Very disappointing.

Quoted from Dreamscale Lots of action.  Lots of devastation.  Very little Die Hard, though, and that's too bad.  I actually wonder if this was even originally written as a Die Hard sequel?  Sure doesn't have that Die Hard feel, as far as I'm concerned.

Curiously, it's quite the opposite of what you might think (as Darren notes above)! Good Day to Die Hard is the first script which originated as a script for a Die Hard, including Die Hard, which was supposed to be the sequel to the Frank Sinatra flick The Detective. Die Hard 2 was originally written as a stand-alone film based on a novel called 58 minutes. Vengeance was originally written as a Brandon Lee vehicle that was then picked up as a potential Lethal Weapon 4. Live Free was a tech article adaptation that was supposed to be a high-tech thriller.

Quoted from Heretic Curiously, it's quite the opposite of what you might think (as Darren notes above)! Good Day to Die Hard is the first script which originated as a script for a Die Hard, including Die Hard, which was supposed to be the sequel to the Frank Sinatra flick The Detective. Die Hard 2 was originally written as a stand-alone film based on a novel called 58 minutes. Vengeance was originally written as a Brandon Lee vehicle that was then picked up as a potential Lethal Weapon 4. Live Free was a tech article adaptation that was supposed to be a high-tech thriller.

Hehe, so regardless of the details, it seems the filmmakers went against formula.
Perhaps they should've hijacked a good spec and converted it! ;D

E.D.

Caught up with this one. Fucking piece of shit.

Sniper's on the money with the details, so I'll leave it at that.