Super Fight Camp by Paul Sanghera (Zenga09) - Short, Comedy - Geoff Blacks owns the Super Fight Championship. Suffering from low ratings and dwindling fights, he enters into the world of reality TV and puts eight fighters in a house to train together and live together, to battle it out to be the Super Fight Camp winner. But what he's got to work with, he wishes he’d never started this thing in the first place. 36 pages - pdf, format 8)

Comedy falls into slapstick in a couple of places which isn't really a bad thing, but sometimes it reminded of the type of comedy in carry on films. Like you're trying to get a laugh every minute. The tard joke was too much for me, taking the piss out of people that can't help it isn't funny to me.. I'm guessing that you're young.

This also isn't a complete story. You get in 30+ pages and just stop.

I think this has lots of potential but you have a way to go before you are at a standard where you can sell it. The best thing you could probably do right now is team up with someone else on this idea, on your own you still have a year or two.

You can write comedy so keep it up.

Yeah it was more of an idea that I followed through with rather than being a genuine piece of work. I still like the idea but wasnt convinced I executed it very well.

not something I'll put too much time & effort into - again thanks for the constructive feedback.

PS. Actually the 'tard' joke is something thaty happened at a conference i was at. Bizarre but true.

This has lots and lots of potential. Keep this idea around because comedy like this sells all day long. You have a knack for it... just a little practise will see you sell a script in the next couple of years I'm sure.

Think how many comedies you've seen that you can't remember the names of. People devour films. A film is there to entertain for 90 minutes (in the case of comedy). That's all you have to do. Accomplish that and you should sell some scripts... especially comedy. Get yourself an original concept, just like this one, and make it GREAT. You can do it... but I'd still drop the 'tard joke, lol.

Good luck.

I would totally keep the 'tard' joke.  Thought that was hilarious, especially with the character being Australian.  

"I will pray for her." Brilliant.

Funny stuff.  But by about page 19 or 20 I started to lose interest.  

I agree with Dustin though, this idea has a lot of potential.  I like the mockumentary idea.  

thanks CM. The "tard" joke you either love or hate. I'm sticking with that particular one.

You hear that dustin? I'm keeping the damn tard joke.lol...

you're right about films Dustin - a lot of appetite for it. It just requires so much patience. Something I need to work on. Not my strong point.