Rainstorm by Chris Nand - Drama -  A heartbreaking story of inter-racial childhood sweethearts Krishna and Susan whose upbringing in a Catholic orphanage in Fiji sets them on divergent paths that will tear them apart. The screenplay has been adapted from my book: RETURNED TO DEVIL'S ISLAND. 105 pages - pdf, format 8)

This isn't too bad. It was really holding my interest but I had to quit because almost every action line people are "seen" doing something. It's incredibly annoying.

Brad is seen doing the dishes. Why not just write, "Brad does the dishes."?

GI's are seen helping children = GI's help children.

Susan is seen running across the street = Susan runs across the street.

You did this at least 50 times in the first 20 pages.

I lost interest fairly quickly.  The first few pages are good.  It sets up the setting well and you get an idea of the world this character lives in.  But then the flashback comes in and it starts over again.  

First off though, your sluglines are sloppy.  Some are repeated and the formatting changes from page to page.  I can get through it and know what you're saying but it can be distracting.  Just polish it up some.  You don't need a slug for every single action that's taking place within a single area.  The flood scene for example, EXT. VILLAGE only has to be used once within that sequence.  Use CUT TO: or just write out the action how it is.

Also, your dialogue is a bit wooden at times and too on the point.  You do a lot of saying and not showing.  You don't need to say things that the audience can figure out on their own.  For example,

"This is Sergeant Brad Philips. The
Americans will be staying here till
the war ends in the Pacific,
understand?"

Cut about the war and the Pacific.  It's not needed.

"The Americans have just returned
from service in the Solomon Islands
and will be staying here to protect
our islands, just in case there is
an invasion from the Japanese."

Again, cut the last part out.  You don't need to talk about the invasion.  Instead, write the fear that this character feels about a possible invasion.  Show his concern.

This type of thing happens a lot throughout the script.

Now back to the flashback.  I just think it's in the wrong place.  We are introduced to Chris and his ordeal and then he sees someone he might know and just when we are concerened about him we go into a flashback.  I think linger on his character some more.  Maybe write him returning back to the hotel, defeated and sad.  He can't get this 'raincoat lady' out of his mind.  Maybe he takes the initiative to go and find her.  He asks about her desperately throughout the village.  This tells us that she really means something to him.  Then move into the flashback.  Also, cut some pages and get to the reveal of Krishna being Chris a lot quicker.  It should come in about 5-6 pages sooner.

OVerall, a curious story so far but the dialogue needs work.