Undercover by Stefan Elton (stefan007) - Short, Horror - An undercover police officer must face personal demons while stalking a possible killer. 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Not quite sure what to make of this one. It was a bit hard to follow, but a bold endeavor nonetheless. All in all, I liked it. A few too many "we's" but other than that, it was an intriguing and well-crafted script, IMO. Left me wanting more.

We start off in Connor's bedroom I assume, so label it as so, and when Janet shuts the door, we should refer to her in a hall or a different room with some kind of slug.  It reads pretty bad right now.  The stripper stalker sounds like it needs a more flashy monicker.  You know...Jack the Ripper...The Green River Killer.

However, this isn't for me, I tried to get into it but it's not my cup of tea.  

I started skimming after the typical superior cop in authority talking down to his detective.

Hi Guys,
Thank you very much for reading!
Ha the stripper stalker is pretty lame, didn’t realize how much until you pointed it out, thanks Reaper550, don’t know your name. And the slug on page one, I can read over a piece 100 times and still miss something. I’m sorry you didn’t like it. I wanted to experiment with a psycho cop idea.
Silverback, glad you liked it some areas are a bit convoluted, so on with the rewrites. Thanks again for taking the time to read.

Quoted from Stefan007 Hi Guys, Thank you very much for reading! Ha the stripper stalker is pretty lame, didn’t realize how much until you pointed it out, thanks Reaper550, don’t know your name. And the slug on page one, I can read over a piece 100 times and still miss something. I’m sorry you didn’t like it. I wanted to experiment with a psycho cop idea. Silverback, glad you liked it some areas are a bit convoluted, so on with the rewrites. Thanks again for taking the time to read.

You're welcome.  

Gotta love a good ol' fashioned psycho cop story.  Sometimes it takes a psycho to catch a psycho.