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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  July 2013 One Week Challenge  /  "The Spoofs" - OWC
Posted by: Don, July 14th, 2013, 3:46pm
I've grouped the "Pissers" together as "Spoofs"  

The Revenge by 3 - Short - After his father dies of obesity, a Native American child ventures across the Pacific Northwest to find the supposed cure. - pdf, format 8)

You Dun' Goofed by 1 - Short - After his wife's disappearance, a rugged cowboy travels to Spokane with his son to find the phone that holds her coordinates. - pdf, format 8)

The Weakness Radiating from a Broken Soul by 2 - Short - In the midst of a deadly war in the nearby future, a naive young boy struggles to understand his role in the mayhem. - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: Heretic, July 14th, 2013, 7:02pm; Reply: 1
Unfortunately I found "The Weakness Radiating from a Broken Soul" to be hilarious, which suggests that I am probably an idiot...
Posted by: Ryan1, July 14th, 2013, 7:53pm; Reply: 2
No link for You Dun Goofed.  

Read "Weakness" and "Revenge" and I must say they're chilling glimpses into the minds of some twisted SS sonsabitches.  Great pissers, though.  
Posted by: nawazm11, July 14th, 2013, 9:33pm; Reply: 3
A separate thread for pissers? Where's Bee Boy? ;D

Ah, let's begin with reading one to ease me into reading mood. Hmm, Goofed link doesn't seem to work, I was hoping the rugged Cowboy is none other than Sam himself. Let's try The Revenge.

Well... Err, after finishing it, I highly doubt this is a pisser. Although the script is terrible in every way imaginable, it seems to have been written by someone who has a very very poor grasp of the English language. It's as if you used Google translate to merge over every single sentence and then turned it into script form. You also seem to create random words and pretend they're real. What is 'genopride'?

I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel bad, I honestly don't think this a pisstake. But then the logline is written well which makes me think otherwise.

Regardless, this was undeniably hilarious.
Posted by: Don, July 15th, 2013, 7:58am; Reply: 4
Link to "You Dun Goofed" fixed.

With regard to a separate link for pissers.  I burned through the scripts prior to posting.  I tried to identify obvious 'pissers' (in other words, the writer intended to write a 'bad' script or spoof the theme) I grouped them together and identified them so that readers could make his/her own decision on whether to read the script or not.  

Don
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), July 15th, 2013, 2:43pm; Reply: 5
Interesting...very interesting.

I'll get to these after I finish all the proper entries.
Posted by: jwent6688, July 15th, 2013, 3:07pm; Reply: 6
Read Weakness. Chris probably thinks I wrote it because of the apparent,  extreme love of Canadians. It was a decent,  over the top pisser. I enjoyed it.

James
Posted by: stevie, July 15th, 2013, 10:29pm; Reply: 7
Is 'spoof' slang for semen in the US like it is here in Australia?

Just curious...
Posted by: nawazm11, July 15th, 2013, 10:46pm; Reply: 8
I read 'Weakness', I think it was trying to poke fun at scripts with flowery prose. John Senior and John Junior's intro takes up half the first page. I found the ending to be hilarious, could not stop laughing. A worthy effort for a pisser, could've fit the parameters if you set this all outside. Love the hockey puck line and that 1 page monologue.
Posted by: irish eyes, July 16th, 2013, 8:59pm; Reply: 9
Reading "revenge"

Holy shit this is poorly written... but funny :D

GRANDMOTHER
I had too much fat on my body. The
pacific northwest spirits did not
treat me as well as they should :D

FAT MAN (CONT’D)
See, even you, a little 12 year boy
who has found miraculous discovery
in the Pacific Northwest, which
could alter mankind as we now know
it,                 ..... stating the obvious makes me laugh out loud

Even Derek Jeter makes an apperance... even though he's playing the wrong sport :D:D:D:D

This was soooo bad it was funny

I don't care  what anyone says... I love a pisser/spoof, it breaks up the monotony

Good job

Mark
Posted by: nawazm11, July 16th, 2013, 10:00pm; Reply: 10
Oh my god... I just read You Dun' Goofed. This is honestly the best pisser I've ever read. ;D ;D

From the title page to the appearance of Jeff, Stevie, Ryan, Kevin and James. I'm not sure I understand all the references but I thought this was absolutely hilarious. This was almost perfect but sadly, the intentionally poor writing does let it down. Regardless, this is a must read. "(true green Aussie accent)" lmao ;D, whoever wrote this definitely has some kind of hidden anger towards Australians.
Posted by: stevie, July 16th, 2013, 10:27pm; Reply: 11
Jesus, I didn't know me and my cutoffs were in this one!

Hmm, this can be only be done by one of two dudes because they know stuff about my recent owC entry. And only two people on this earth from SS knew what my script was about..lol
Posted by: irish eyes, July 16th, 2013, 10:37pm; Reply: 12
The Beatles Rock !
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), July 17th, 2013, 10:53am; Reply: 13
The Weakness Radiating from a Broken Soul

O...M...G!!!!!

This is a pretty talented pisser writer here.  Some downright horrendously hilarious writing on display - the constant, inane asides, the writer notes, the crazy descriptions, and of course, the classic "baby pussy" line(s).

Wasn't a big fan of the huge monologue and I also think the profanity went a bit overboard, but I truly laughed my fucking ass off several times on every page.

I actually mean this honestly - ever writer can take notes from this on what not to do and the sad thing is that many writers do write like this (to a degree) and they do it in a serious attempt to write a script.  Read this and understand that you don't want to ever write like this unless you've just finished your 14th tall boy and really, and I mean fucking really have to take a giant piss.

Well done - I think I know who took this big old hairy piss.

Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), July 17th, 2013, 11:27am; Reply: 14
The Revenge

Damn...I don't know if I can take this.  I'm already laughing so hard, my baby asshole hurts.

Just downright horrendous opening - the misspellings, the missing words, the horrific sentence structure, the name Jong Jong, the FADE TO:, SUPERIMPOSE:, all of it...every fucking single damn thing!  Hilarious...and I'm only on the 2nd passage!

I need a smoke...be right back...

Love the orphans running around - you could start an orphanage with all these little shits.

The grammar is just horrendously hilarious!

Love Jong Jong's death!  OMG...fucking unreal.

"Toze"?  I don't get it, but I'm thrilled Jong Jong has come back to life, albeit shortly.

"...he does in Little boy's hand." - Love it!  Damn, dude, I may have to piss myself...but I can't, cuz I'm sitting on a $1,200 chair.  Maybe I should go outside and just start pissing all over the place?  Yeah...I think I better...be right back...

OK so Toze is Little boy's name - hilarious, but it's beginning to be too much, even for me.  Maybe I shouldn't have released so much urine outside, all over everything I could think of pissing on.

Derek Jeter - Love it!  More urine is rising in my bladder again.  Thank you.

nuclear power - LOL!
"the man your man could smell like - HA!  I've seen this line before, and it's till quite hilarious.  Damn...

love son - Fuck, man, you're killing me!

You sneaky Lucifer - I an't hold this newly developed urine much longer.

Can I have the pussy please? - Oh shit.  seriously, you're killing me over here!

Hilarious!  Written by the same writer as pisser #1?  Oh my God!!!!

Posted by: irish eyes, July 17th, 2013, 11:41am; Reply: 15
Just read "the weakness"

Freaking funny spoof...baby pussy :D

Obviously the writer has a love affair with Canadians  :D

I enjoyed the monologue and especially admitting to copying and paste...

Overall I had a good laugh during my lunch break

Mark
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), July 17th, 2013, 11:54am; Reply: 16
You Dun goofed

Appreciate how we start OVER BLACK and stay there the entire script!

Cowboy Sam - oh boy, here we go.

Stevie and myself?  With Madame Putz and Cowboy Sam?  Damn...hilarious!  I think I need to take me another big old hairy piss.

Uh oh...me and Stevie going homo?  Not liking that too much, but I'll give it a chance, if he stops fucking those damn sheep!!

For reals - HaHa...classic!  Damnit...

Cleveland James?  Fuck me...I gotta piss again!!

Too many Desperate Housewives mentions!!!!  Not that funny.

pantaloons and pirate outfit - fuck, man...you're seriously killing me here!

my brah - LOL!!!!

Kevin enters the fray...unreal!

those weren’t women cheerleaders... -Awesome!  That's the way Stevie likes 'em - sheep or men dressed like women!  LOL

Ryan!  Welcome!!

The Jeep kills the dolphins...or "slaughters" them.  I got to go take another hairy piss!  Seriously...I have to get this urine out of me!!

Wooo...that was indeed one big old hairy piss!

Photographs of blue denim cut offs around the whole room. STEVIE MACDONALDS sits at his water bed, nude except the exception of denim cut offs. He has his ex Niner cheerleaders around him. With closer inspection, a bulge can be seen at their crotch.

Fuck me...this is hilarious!

NAKED MAILMAN (O.S.)
I GOT THE PHONE YOU FUCKING BITCHES!!! - I'm out of words to sue to describe the hilarity going on...and the smell of fresh urine, as it must be continually leaking out of me, drop by drop.

INT. SHOWER - WATER - DAY - Fuck...speaking of showers, I need one, as this urine is everywhere (I had to sit Indian style on the ground while I read so I wouldn't soil me beloved chair, and I have one of those plastic things down so me beloved chair can roll around and do spins and the best part is my leaking urine can easily be wiped up on the plastic thing on the ground).

Awesome!  Classic!  Well done!  I gotta go shower now and I hope the water shoots out faster than...wait a minute...I don't really wish that...what I do wish for is that the water shoots out like cum from a squirter's baby pussy.
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