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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Comedy Scripts  /  Seat Filler Conspiracy
Posted by: Don, July 30th, 2013, 6:27pm
Seat Filler Conspiracy by Chuck Ziegler (Ziggy26) - Comedy, Heist, Rom Com - When a group of friends , who have fallen on hard times, discover that one of them is the exact double of a famous up and coming starlet, they become seat fillers at the upcoming Oscars to kidnap the actress and steal her multi-million dollar jewels. 101 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: ChuckZiegler, July 30th, 2013, 7:52pm; Reply: 1
Wow! Was so excited to see my latest screenplay posted but there is a HUGE error in the title! I can not imagine I presented it that way in the "Title" request but if I had I am HOPING it can be changed to its real title. It's not Screen Filler Conspiracy, but Seat Filler Conspiracy. What do I need to do as I feel MANY will not even look past the title seeing it not correctly done. Thanks for any help in this matter! Chuck
Posted by: bert, July 30th, 2013, 8:02pm; Reply: 2

Quoted from ChuckZiegler
Wow! Was so excited to see my latest screenplay posted but there is a HUGE error in the title! I can not imagine I presented it that way in the "Title" request but if I had I am HOPING it can be changed to its real title. It's not Screen Filler Conspiracy, but Seat Filler Conspiracy. What do I need to do as I feel MANY will not even look past the title seeing it not correctly done. Thanks for any help in this matter! Chuck

Done.  We aims to please.

Personally, I would have hyphenated that title.
Posted by: ChuckZiegler, July 30th, 2013, 8:15pm; Reply: 3
Thanks for the VERY quick correction Bert! Big relief. As for hyphenating Seat Filler, I will give that some very serious thought. As for anyone who will take the time and effort to read and critique, I must point out that the first time the character Charley speaks I have her listed as "Charlene" and that correction will be made immediately. Crazy how I have read this screenplay so many times and NEVER caught that! But please let me know what else I need to work on and I will take all criticism with an open mind. Thanks! Chuck
Posted by: Leegion, July 30th, 2013, 8:30pm; Reply: 4
Hey Chuck,

I'll give this a once-over for you.  Post some notes, etc.

In the meantime, slither around the boards and sink your teeth into a few scripts.  Might get you more reads in the long run.

Posted by: AmbitionIsKey, July 30th, 2013, 10:38pm; Reply: 5

Quoted from Leegion

In the meantime, slither around the boards and sink your teeth into a few scripts.  Might get you more reads in the long run.

Take his advice.  This is the advice I was given when I joined.  It works.  It's the advice every new member is given when they join.  Those who do take the advice get to know people and get some return reads, those that don't... well...

I see you've already post a couple screenplays...

Posted by: ChuckZiegler, July 31st, 2013, 10:57am; Reply: 6
[quote=Leegion]Hey Chuck,

In the meantime, slither around the boards and sink your teeth into a few scripts.  Might get you more reads in the long run.

Will do Lee! Only been on SS a week and VERY surprised to see that 2 of my 3 screenplays have been posted already. I have read and responed to 3 others already, so we'll see were that gets me. I am spending today reading a couple more (a do-nothing day here in NYC) and look forward to many more. Thanks for taking the time to go over whatever you can go over. As for it being listed under "comedy", that's where I may get hurt. There wasn't a HEIST or DRAMEDY category to choose. There are "funny" moments in it, but not a flat out comedy. Chuck
Posted by: ChuckZiegler, August 5th, 2013, 10:07pm; Reply: 7
For anyone thinking of giving this a read, I apologize upfront for my title page not showing up. This will be corrected as well as the proper title to the screenplay. It is Seat Filler Conspiracy, not Screen Filler Conspiracy.
I also want to state that the "celebrities" used in the screenplay are MY choice of who I see but very easily can be played by many actors working today. Hope you enjoy and please give any critiques that will help a rookie out. I have read several others myself and have given what I felt were positive feedback with a few "suggestions" thanks! Chuck
Posted by: Leegion, August 5th, 2013, 10:20pm; Reply: 8
Damn, I was meant to read this over the weekend but I got bogged down with stuff.

I'll get to it this weekend.  Sorry for the delay, man.
Posted by: ChuckZiegler, August 8th, 2013, 11:27am; Reply: 9
Still waiting for the "revised" version to show up. Should be soon (fingers crossed) and also want to point out that I did not give "ages" to my characters as I feel they could be played by a wide age range and didn't want to pinpoint it down to a specific age for each character. If this is not acceptable, I am sure I will hear about it in ay critiques I am given. Thanks!  
Posted by: ChuckZiegler, September 30th, 2013, 6:47pm; Reply: 10
Worked some more on this one (of 3 I have posted so far) and will. E doing the same with the other 2 soon. I've really enjoyed reading some good (and a few not so good) on here and definitely plan on reading more! Any suggestions would great to those that may be of interest. Thanks!
Posted by: Forgive, September 30th, 2013, 7:36pm; Reply: 11
Looks like a decent piece. Log-line needs some work on it - I'd cut it down some. Nicely set up overall - lots of characters to get through, but they seem to have some dimension to them - I take it your going for ensemble rather than a key character? Over-written here and there, but pretty minor, and some bits of tell rather than show "... lifeless hair always pulled back ..." But a nice vibe to it, none-the-less. Didn't read so far in, but I'm tempted some now. Not sure how you'd get away with the A list cameos, though?
Posted by: ChuckZiegler, September 30th, 2013, 7:46pm; Reply: 12
Thanks SiColl007 for taking some time to attempt getting through this and ANY critiques/suggestions will be taken with an open mind. I'm pretty new at this and really hope this forum will help me only to improve. As for the "A-list" cameos....the celebrities I have in the screenplay of course are my "dream cast" and they could be played by a wide range of stars in the business. I could imagine even "look a likes" could be used since the cameos are so small. Thanks again for the positive feedback!
Posted by: vancety, June 29th, 2015, 11:56am; Reply: 13
I’m an amateur but until now I like:

*The dialog;
* the action lines, short and crisp;
* could not find unfilmables until now.

But I’m afraid there is already too much pipe… Try to state the theme before page 12, even when it’s already is stated in the screenplays  title.

That’s probably why until know the story does not really grab me.

Page 1
“FEMALE ANNOUNCER (O.S.) Stay tuned, Oscars for best documentaries will be presented after a musical tribute to directors.”

If the female announcer is in the same room as the Orchestra but off camera you use
(O.S) ,  if she is in another room you (already) use (V.O.)

“well build” to “well-build”

Is it realistic that a star is seated next to a nobody at the Oscars?

Page 2

CAP Christopher

Page 6

“suppose” to “supposed”


Personally I would use

Page 7

CHRISTOPHER Yeah, things are getting a bit tough. Spike here losing his touring gig and me being cut off from my parents for not becoming the lawyer they wanted.

A bit ‘on the nose’.

Page 9

ON THE TELEVISION Random shots of celebrities fill the screen.

Oh my god. No way. Look, look who Carol Ann is sitting next to.

Carol Ann leans in close to an A-List actresses’ shoulder to get in camera view and waves.

She looks amazing Christopher, that dress you made for her is a winner.


I’m not sure if you should use INTERCUT WITH in this occasion.

Page 11


Page 13
Where’s the new  HEADER with which this SUPERIMPOSE goes? INT. ?
Posted by: ChuckZiegler, June 29th, 2015, 1:40pm; Reply: 14
First and foremost...taking the time to read/skim any screenplay on here takes time and I appreciate your taking time to do so.

Secondly...what you have done for me is EXACTLY what this forum is all about.

Now, to address your "issues". The several "grammical/proper formatting" mistakes were so great to have pointed out! They have been corrected already.

Page 1)
A: the female announcer is in the auditorium, just not seen, so "O.S." Would be more appropriate to use than a "V.O." that was speaking over a scene or an inner thought.
C: Seat fillers are used to fill ANY and ALL seats regardless of who that seat is next to as told by someone who has actually done this.  

Page 7)
The "on the nose" statement can be worked to not be so on the nose, but am struggling with how to quickly/briefly let the reader know that Spike and Christopher are struggling also.

Page 9)
The characters talk over what is being shown on the television, so "Intercut" would not be used in this situation IMO.

As for there not being much done/said to give the reader an idea of what may be forcoming, I thought I have mentioned enough subtle hints throughout. I.E. All 4 are getting into debt fast and deep...Carol Ann is already a seat filler and Charley makes a comment that they all should do it next year...the mentioning of the worth of the jewels being worn, Terry saying Charley would be wearing some soon after Spike mentions what he would do with those millions...It's brought up that Charley should be up on that stage/an actress.

Everyone reads/sees something different when reading whether it's a book, play, screenplay. I know it's the writers duty to make it as clear as possible as soon as possible and being new to this will surely take a while to get to a point where I can get that point across. Your help with the errors was awesome and I thank you again.

Posted by: vancety, July 1st, 2015, 1:12pm; Reply: 15
Your right, trying to state the theme without being on the nose can be done with little hints, I just read over them. Sorry!

Ok straight back to 'format' again.

Page 15


If you have a screenwriting program that allows you to underline, underline FLASHBACK.

Page 17

Severalofficialy exepted possibilities to go back to present day.

I would not ue:

END FLASHBACK. (underlined and on the right side of page)



It saves you a line!

The Holleywood Standard - Christopher Riley



OK, I'm sure ( and you are to) that after a MASTER SHOT HEADING (SLUG LINE) you Always get an action line before dialog starts, but can you start with a slugline like an insert or other...? If not you should start with narrative...

Page 18

He is startled awake by the sound of a nearby phone.

CAP PHONE, not sound.

Page 21/22



You could also use a master heading, I don't know...


Terry is devouring his piza while watching telly.

Tracy stands behind the couch -

Oh gosh no. She ends her name with an E... (giggles) ...and I end mine with a Y.

Amanda, stunned, laughs through clinched teeth.

Terry looks amused ( if this is not an unmilmable) and opens another beer.

Don'tuse "absurd reply". it's a 'double' you already have shown in dialog
Posted by: vancety, July 2nd, 2015, 5:29am; Reply: 16
Ok, laying pipe ends at page 27 when the double is introduces and a plan is made.

The scene starting at page 25 is a bit to long; try to keep it a max of 4 pages.

Page 40

If you can make it clear where the montage ends- and you did - you don't need END MONTAGE.

Page 42

Never introduce people in CAPS that later on in the scen do not have dialog.

Page 49

CAP the sound and what is making the sound


Page 51

Several PHONES begin to ring.

Page 52


Page 75

Temporary bleachers are filled with SCREAMING FANS. on screen so:

Temporary bleachers are filled with screamng fans.

Paparazzi swarm the limousine.

Various celebrities are shown at different points of the carpet.

Page 78

A limousine door opens to thunderous applause. The President and First Lady, surrounded by secret service, get out and wave to the crowd.

Page 84

I like this:

The. Nominees for. Best. Costume design. Are. Mary-Ann Goodrid? For QUEEN ELIZABETH. THE END OF THE TUDORS.

Jaime Marie for A MOTHER’S LOVE.

Joe. And Elizabeth Sanders. (mimics Mae West) COME UP AND SEE ME SOMETIME.

The crowd laughs. A-List actor #1 holds back a chuckle.

Page 87

On the nose and is she already forgiving him. For that you needs more to get a bond.

TRACY I’m fine. Just a little bruised is all. You didn’t harm me. You’ve been very kind. Are we really going to the show? Can we make it? I don’t think you should be driving.

I just can not believe this dialog

Page 93

Ok I really like where you are going

CHARLEY ...but I can not forgive Hollywood for making me feel loved for who I was perceived to be. I am a beautiful person as well. Not your idea of what beautiful is, but still a very beautiful person.

But is Hollywood going to f... it self by making this movie?

So in general I liked your originalidea and the way you presented it in your screenplay. I just think there is too much pipe before we get to the real story.
Posted by: ChuckZiegler, July 5th, 2015, 10:02am; Reply: 17
Dear Vancety...what you have done for me is beyond words. For you to have completely read my first draft and given me AWESOME critiques and observations of what issues I need to work on has made my day! I knew all along that it was taking too long to get to the group needing to get their objective started but just can't figure out how to cut it down. Well...that's what rewrites are for and your help is so appreciated, I will do my best to make this a much more enjoyable read. THANK YOU!
Posted by: vancety, July 10th, 2015, 1:47pm; Reply: 18
... You're welcome!!  :)
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