Blind Casting by A Green Wort - Horror - Beware the words and their portent or lose your soul without repent, for caution and woe wait within for those with blackness born of sin. (reader cautioned) - pdf, format 8)

Pretty well written.  The talent on display here is obvious.

The writer is either well versed in witchcraft or did a shitload of research.  Either way, this reads well and comes off authentic and very unique.

Writing-wise, it's good, but there are so many orphans hanging out by themselves.  A little overwritten in terms of detail in places, but all in all, very well done for a week's time.

The story is pretty cool and I like how you structured this, as well.  You didn't give everything away right out of the gate, and because of that, each reveal made the read stronger and stronger.

Dialogue was a highlight and the rhyming chants/spells were very well conceived.

Characters were also well drawn and each seemed real and even unique.  Molly was cool peeps, whether she's good or evil, and that's tough to pull off.

This will likely be a contender.

Great job all the way around!

This was good. Well-written, good dialogue... there's really nothing to complain about. Impressive for something done in a week.

Good job completing the OWC.

Will

Great writing this one. I love the title and the logline has that poetic artsy feel that I love. The whole script had it also ....I like.

Loved the beetles :) creepy as hell.

I think the spells got old after a while losing the charm but overall I liked this one. I think you could've ended it after Molly shot Penny in the head...I loved her line afterwards 'fucking amateurs' :) chuckled.

Good job!

A well- paced quick read, definitely fulfilling all requirements. Great specific intro for each character. And was that a gay warlock? One of many firsts in this entry. The 1st I've read that included incantations,  even going so far as to have rhymes. Another first. The first to incorporate modern technology (loosely) with phone timers. The 1st to be super violent with the kills. I really liked how this filled every requirment of the challenge.

The powers were inventive. No potions hahaha. Beetles erupting from a body. The mirror attack! Crotch time massacre!  You made me squirm a few times. Sounds like horror to me, eh. I also really liked the bullet scene and "amateur".

This entry reminded me of CARRIE. The old one. So i mean that in a good way. On the most part the spells were good, I mean the wording, but could have been stronger. What's important is it gives the right mood, setting the atmosphere and recalling ancient myths. But some rhymes were better than others. To be fair - as this is an otherwise glowing review.

The most violent and inventive entry I've read yet. Checks all the boxes.

This kept my attention throughout.  I laughed when Molly smiled with missing teeth, and the scene right after that.  In fact, I thought the story unraveled very well from the start.

The dialogue works well and gives these witches a fun, creative vibe.  I guess the way you told the story makes it really good, I can see it maybe come across cliché in another situation.

Good work, like it.

Johnny

Very well written, but it seems like it lacked explanation as to why Molly was such a badass compared to the other witches.  And I agree with Johnny that it came off as kind of cliche to a certain degree.  Needs a better twist, IMO.   But good job for what it is.  Definitely met the challenge.

Also, needs a real logline.  And what's up with "reader cautioned?"   That's cheesy.

Edit: Actually I'm seeing reader cautioned on quite a few scripts.  Must be a new thing.

Sorry - thought I missed something until Silverback's post - what is the motivation to attack Molly? Just doesn't seem to be there. But it's not like Molly's bothered about that - she just goes back at 'em and kills them off. Sorry, but the story fails from the off for me, and there's no point in having good writing if it's not about anything. Not my cup of tea, that's all.

Quoted from Forgive Sorry - thought I missed something until Silverback's post - what is the motivation to attack Molly? Just doesn't seem to be there. But it's not like Molly's bothered about that - she just goes back at 'em and kills them off. Sorry, but the story fails from the off for me, and there's no point in having good writing if it's not about anything. Not my cup of tea, that's all.

Really, Simon?  Maybe you didn't read closely enough or maybe the writer chose to leave some things ambiguous.

Shocked at the lack of love for this one.  It rocks and the writer obviously did a kickass job and spent alot of time coming up with this.

And...no...this isn't mine and I have no clue who wrote it, but it deserves attention, if nothing else.

I honestly couldn't get into this one.

The start was good but when they were eating pizza and all this weird shit began, I had NFBI what the story was leading to.

Actual writing and formatting was pretty good, and the invocations were authentic. But it submerged into a quagmire for me.

That logline makes no sense and tells nothing about the story.

"He screams in agony, screams that go on and on." Reads very poorly.

Dual dialogue might get a few eyebrow scrunches.

There was definitely something I missed since I still have no clue who Molly was meant to be? This needs extension, The Order stuff is interesting but it doesn't really reach its full potential since the reader barely knows what the characters are talking about. Writing had a few hiccups but besides that, it was fine. This had a nice movie feel to it but I would've preferred a little more expansion on the story. It's hard to care for Molly since we discover this was just the characters' jobs, and from what I understood, they were unaware. So the killing just doesn't resonate with the audience, or maybe not as much as it should since Molly is introduced almost like she's some kind of bimbo. It's not a bad script, some memorable characters, working dialogue, a good effort for a week's worth.

Grade: C+/B-

A solid effort. Very textured and detail-oriented. I dug it. The juxtaposition between the witchcraft elements and the more mundane activities of the characters' everyday lives was a nice touch. The juxtaposition of intricate, calculated rituals and significant objects and someone bursting into flames at someone else's whim is a little iffy but I went with it. The sing-songy spells were a little corny but I went with them as well.

Again. Texture. Good stuff.

The writing was solid. Very little to complaint about... but indeed, there's some to complain about. Lots of orphans. They gots to go. Commas used as periods. Split dialogue is annoying as always. But it won't take much to clean up.

I think if there's any issues to work on, it'd be the feel that this is part of something bigger and thus not self-contained. A lot of people have mentioned the lack of a motive and lack of explanation about who Molly is. This would be a contributor to that. Not knowing who the Order is would be another. I didn't mind but others might (and do already).

That and the title's not great. It doesn't catch my interest at all and I don't understand what it refers to. I clicked it because it was on the portal and Jeff liked it.

Other than that, I'd be nitpicking. I suppose I could rag on it for being somewhat cliche or not so much scary as in-your-face. Honestly, I think if filmed, this could easily end up as something I really wouldn't like with hot young TV stars and trendy, MTV-style filmmaking with no atmosphere. But on the other hand, it could end up as something else. On paper, it reads more or less effective and hits the marks it set out to hit.

Loved the beetles too. Sick shit.

If it weren't for the other reviews, I'd say this one'd end up being a favorite. I suppose not just yet. I think it's a strong candidate though. We shall see...

No comments read before.
Non-native speaker – take it or leave it.

Blind casting

Hello

First time I got problems to get through. Not because I don't wanted to. The combination of different theme-worlds and lots of character made it hard, without review again and again. Plus -They are also talking, interacting, right?

I dislike  that it starts straight with several shots in a ritual world. Why that? It'2013 here, I' m sitting in front of my laptop watching your film. Or is it usual today, am we living in a ritual witch world? You have to give me one smell first, a point of identification. It is to wild. And that moves on.

It's also haloween if I undersood right, a dream is happening, a homosexual couple...

I don't judge this script, because there is something extraordinary that you took pictures so far away from each other. You wanted to much. To want more is a friend of success. So check your pictures and bundle some energy from what you have started here.

This is well written for the most part, but there isn't much of a story here.  

It ends just when it's getting good and there's no closure.  I want to know what happens next, but as it's written, it leaves me hanging.

Quoted Text Bryan stands in the center, soaking wet. The yellowish fluid drips onto the carpet, staining it.

It should be "A yellowish fluid drips...".  
When you say "The yellowish fluid drips...", I feel like I missed the introduction of the fluid before.  I had to go back and re-read it to make sure.

"DISSOLVE TO:" isn't necessary.  It's not wrong but it doesn't add anything to the script and it takes up valuable lines.  There are a couple other lines you could cut out too.

Quoted Text HELEN That was fast. I told you it pays to tip well.

This dialogue is out of place.  Will just saw his boyfriend burst into flames, the rest of them are worried about being killed, they feel like they were set up by The Order, yet Helen feels like this is the right time to comment on proper tipping etiquette?

This is the second script where a gun is used to kill a witch/warlock.  Interesting.

Jordan

I read this carefully. Slowly. Trying to make sure I didn't miss anything. The reason was because it was obvious from the first words that a veteran writer, a very competent and gifted writer, had crafted this work. The skill with the early dialogue not only showed talent, but that the writer had put some quality time into this.

So it pains me to say the story fell completely flat. I want to do my best to relate why, because this is clearly a very talented writer.

There is absolutely no story here. There is plot, there is some potentially interesting world building with the witch order. But there are no memorable images or ideas or feelings. No lasting impressions.

There are a lot of characters, but we don't get a dimensional sense of any of them, and there is certainly not even close to one that we care what happens to.

There is no mystery we need to see solved...no mystery box we want to see inside of.

A writer needs to ask these questions when constructing a story, needs to ask them at the end of every page: how can I hold the audience? How can I keep them from changing the channel?

Yes, we want to put conflict in scenes. But conflict without caring is empty, powerless. If we are not interested in the characters, or care about them, then we don't care what conflict they are in.

The witch assassins were hired by the coven to kill Molly. Do we care about Molly? No attempt is made to make us care about her. We don't know anything about her at all. She petted the cat, which might have been the writer playing with us a bit, but whatever the case it does not bond us to her the least bit.

And why would we care about the assassins hired to kill Molly? Is there anything about them that we would want to see them to prevail, or to suffer justice at Molly's hands?

If we want to take the approach that caring about characters in shorts is not important, ok...maybe other things can be achieved, such as a really clever twist, or some kind of intellectual stimulation, or an unforgettable image. I don't see any of that here.

The writer is for sure a talented SOB! So hopefully next time he/she can dig deeper and realize the potential in their talent by giving us something that either moves us or leaves a lasting impression.

P.S. I did like the pulling of the gun at the end. When spells fail, resort to lead!

This is probably my favorite so far. Congratulations on a great script and in only one week too.

I thought the spells they cast were excellent. I couldn't help but picturing a young Jessica Lange as Molly. ;D

I have nothing to add. No suggestions for improvement. 8)

PS. I just now read Kevin's comment about not caring about Molly. I would disagree. At least for me, I found it satisfying to see Molly win. THEY cast spells on Molly. As far as I could tell, Molly had not done anything wrong. There was no reason for me to hate her and wish the spells would work. If anything, it's the others that are the bad guys here, so it felt good to see that Molly turns out to be the big bad bitch/witch and they shouldn't have messed with her in the first place. Just like Fiona Good in AHS. She's the baddest of all the witches, but we want to see her win. We wouldn't want to see some wholesome good person come and win over her, would we?  :)

Hey, Pia. We never get to know anything about Molly. She isn't even in the story long. Two brief scenes(and one dream). Maybe the coven had a good reason to mess with her. We just don't know. I'm all for rooting for the bad ass witch if we know more about her...or at least see that she is bad ass. We don't see that, or even a hint of it, until the final battle. We don't even actually know she is a witch til then. She could be just some hot chick that some jealous witch hired the assassins to kill.

It's hard to give a full sense of character in a short, I understand that. But I don't think we get much of anything. If you were rooting for Molly because she was a bad ass, you didn't know that until the end. As far as rooting for the spells of the assassins...exactly! There is no reason to root for or against those spells. We are emotionally neutral.

I completely agree with Pia, that 45 reads in (or partial reads) this is easily the best or at least one of the best 3.  No denying that, IMO.

It's sad to see Kev, who's a great writer himself, contantly slamming the few good entries here.  It makes ZERO sense to me.  I don't get it, I don't appreciate it, and I feel that his negativity to the obviously and batantly strongest written scripts sends a very bad message to everyone, of all levels of skill.

And, add in a very obvious glowing review to a script that he either wrote or had a part in that was extemely weak at best, just pretty much seals the deal for me - take his comments with a few shakers of salt - be they good, bad, glowing, or extremely negative.

Anyone else hope Kevin wrote this? There's a twist.

Actually, of the reviewers, I find Kevin is really well spoken. I can tell he thinks about his reviews, commenting on various elements. Not just spelling and format. Jokes eh. I find Kevin refreshing and mostly positive with his comments.

Check his reviews. He delivers elaborated opinions. And like bungholes, we all have one. Let it play.

I happened to really like this entry by the way.

Cheers...

Thanks Fountain, and no, I didn't write this script. And as I said in my review, I think the writer is one talented SOB, whoever he/she is. Very gifted.

I will also stand on the rest of me review on this script.

And I will not only stand on my other reviews, I will gladly compare them to Jeff's. Hardly the case that I have been the one slamming.

When Jeff reads a script, 95% of his energy goes into looking at the writing. Very little of it looks at the story. And there is generally no thought at all as to how the writer can improve his story. So the reviews tend to be useless, unless you are a beginning writer learning about slugs and orphans. Even his analysis of the writing is limited by his clinging to an archaic system of rules which pro writers have largely moved past. For Jeff,it's not about what writing is most effective, but about what conforms to these rules...rules which should be considered rules of thumb, not laws of grammar.

There are probably some beginning writers here, so they might find something Jeff says useful. However, most of them will be scared off by his complete dismissing and torching of their work, usually without even reading it.

As for veteran writers...well, if you think Jeff has anything useful to say on your work, knock yourself out.

I have to apologize to teh writer here, but in reality, when it's all said and done, the writer will probably be thanking me for the extra attention this will get - and it deserves it, obviously, despite what Mr. Negative had to say about it.

Kev, c'mon man.  Seriously?  For reals?  Are you honestly saying that what I have to say is incorrect or that it doesn't help writers?  Writers who either don't have a clue or writers who just don't give a shot?  I'm a little appalled at your words, and at your obvious disdain for the better written scripts here.

Sure, we're talking about an OWC in which, at best, we have 1 week to create and write a script in a genre and theme we enter blindly.  You really think we're gonna have fantastic entries that have no issues?  And here in lies the real rub - with modern screenwriting software and even auto correct spellcheckers on Outlook (E-mail), there really shouldn't be that may obvious mistakes in anything, assuming one cares about what they're writing.

If someone can't write a fucking sentence out of the gate, why would anyone even care to continue on?  Because you think they may be some genius with a brand new amazing idea?  Really?  No, obviously not really.

You crap on the obviously best written scripts and give horrendous ones praise...why?  To make you entries look better?  I honestly hope not, but the sad truth is that I do know for a fact you praied a crapper that you had involvement in and that's just  not cool or acceptable.

Come clean, bro and we're cool.

This was definitely one of the strongest entries so far. It’s well written and the pacing was spot on for me. Everything developed well. The spells sounded right, the kills were inventive and the final fight was well played. Even the punch at the end with the gun worked well and fit the tone. I basically took this as “Kill Bill: Magic Edition”.

I do however agree with some of the above comments about this being a morally neutral piece. We don’t really know enough about Molly, the Order, or these assassins to feel strongly one way or the other (it actually seems like a set-up for a feature in this regard). Maybe if we’d seen the attempt on Molly play out we could feel worse for her. Or maybe Molly’s first act of revenge shouldn’t have been to horribly burn to death someone who showed no evidence of having been involved in the plot.

Just some food for thought. Still one of my favorites though. Thank you!

A superior command of the craft is obvious, but one question:

If this is a f**k me? No, no, f**k you story - -why has the coven been tasked to kill Molly?

What did she do? To whom? Why? These answers might have ratcheted up the storytelling even more.

Thanks for the fun ride.


To any and all:
If you're interested and just for fun, here's a link to 9 Horror Films, each under 9 minutes.

http://theweek.com/article/index/250755/9-horror-films-under-9-minutes?utm_source=Tuesday+10%2F22%2F13&utm_campaign=Gordy%27s+AMA&utm_medium=email

A very strong entry. This had fun characters, good dialogue and some great gore at the end.

I do think the story could have done with a few extra pages just to set the main characters up at the beginning but that's hardly your fault with the page restrictions. The one thing that really stuck out to me was the pizza - I just can't fathom why (when they now there is a witch coming to kill them) they would order a pizza - why not throw in a movie as well!

But other than that little nitpick, I enjoyed this one very much - great line by Molly at the end... "Fucking amateurs." Perfect line.

Excellent work.

Congrats on completing the OWC. :)

Steve

Very well written.  The only criticism I have with the writing is the line on page 3 "Molly scratches the scratch".  It sounds repetitive.  Plotwise- it would have been nice to get a bit more back story on why Molly was targeted.  It would also make the revenge sweeter if the coven did have a personal gruge as opposed to "just following orders."  Though it's still a good, well written story.

Solid story and writing with some inventive horror that hit the mark.  The pace here kept the story moving and even though it left a hint of something much bigger this worked well enough to stand alone.  Sure, there's ambiguity in why the Coven wanted Molly dead but I felt I knew enough to enjoy this for what it was.

All around contender methinks.

And never trust the pizza guy...

Writer,

Yeah, I liked this a lot!  It flowed well, paced nicely, and had great readability.  One thing it lacked was scares.  Now, when translated to film, I'll bet we'll see them.  However, is it not the writer's job to scare us as we're reading too?  I didn't find that here.  That being said, it is a strong script and def one of the better one's here.

I liked Molly a lot.  The ending didn't totally work for me, but when Molly walked out the door I found myself hoping I'll see her down the road somewhere again.  

Congrats on entering!  Nice work.

Steve

Not much to complain about here.  Dual dialogue was a surprise to see, though. haha

I must have missed the memo about Same Time. What's up with Continuous?

Apart from that the writing was good. Certainly a hell of a lot happened. I just didn't quite understand what was going on. It felt like I was reading the last half of a script.

R  

Blind casting

Not really taking notes so just a. Few comments...

I like the group spell stuff but I'm a tad lost after that
Too many spells - they don't have meaning to the reader so be sparse with them
Kind of a revenge play, a hit gone wrong.
We actually route for the bady by the end of it, well almost. The confused picture is different, but then maybe unnecessary.

Overlview -  Yeah , not bad, but didn't float my boat.

I felt very distant from the characters, the emotion the motivations.

We only only know about Molly from what they say.

The gun at the end is a cool move but possibly out of tune, but I'll forgive, it's worth it.

But, still, well done.

Post edit  - read the above comments, to be honest I would accord with Kevin, I just haven't given it as much thought.

Got me with the logline... a pretty decent attempt considering the time frame, not perfect, but good enough to pass.

For some reason I read half of this and then forgot about it. I had to go back and check that I hadn't reviewed it already. Weird.

I get the sense of buffy from this script. I think it comes from the fake witchcraft. Once you take witchcraft down to the level of spells (as is done in this script) then it's always going to remind me of Buffy and I didn't like Buffy. In fact, I hated it.

However, you write well enough that I can read it. A few present participles, but I don't mind them.

Some exposition on page 9:

MOLLY
Good little soldiers, doing the
Order’s bidding. Too bad your
pathetic magic can’t help you see
the truth.

OK, I got to the end... what is the truth?

The ending was actually quite good... but the early scenes came off as childish. The mixing of the excessive gore and Buffy-like magic doesn't do it for me.

All in all, a well told story. Just not my thing. I suppose it's worth a 7.1 though, just on talent alone.

LOL. Just read through some of these reviews and I'm starting to think that with the way dreamscreamer is sucking dick on this thread that the site owner himself wrote it. Either that or he knows it is a friend of his.

Defending a work that is not your own, especially to this degree, speaks volumes.

If Kevin didn't like it... so what. He's already said that it is written well... why should he have to like the story? Why should he have to believe the story works? Why does dreamscreamer care so much about this particular story?

Why is DustinBowcock such an asshole?  Seriously, that's really the question we need answered.

I don't think I've ever come across such an arrogant prick as DustinBowcock.

Looking vey forward to seeing which script DustinBowcock wrote.

Quoted from Dreamscale Why is DustinBowcock such an asshole?  Seriously, that's really the question we need answered. I don't think I've ever come across such an arrogant prick as DustinBowcock. Looking vey forward to seeing which script DustinBowcock wrote.

Well you know I didn't write this one, eh screamer. Who wrote it? Which one of your buddies? I don't think I've ever seen you suck dick this hard before, it's got to be someone you weally, weally love.

Hey Bowcock, I honestly have no clue who wrote this one, but I was pretty confident it wasn't you.

There's no way you'd jump to the defence of a script the way you have here unless you had an interest in it or the author. Why would you care what kevin thinks of it? What would it matter to you? Why go out of your way to defend a script that doesn't have anything to do with you?

Lot of unanswered questions there screamer...

This definitely isn't your script, so it must belong to one of your friends. I wonder which one it is... as you won't come clean we'll just have to wait and see, I suppose.

Anyone want to lay bets?

I actually believe Jeff when he says he doesn't know the writer. I think what happened is I must have given a review of his script elsewhere that he didn't like, and he retaliated here. Jeff knows I give fair reviews, something just tweaked him, and it had to be a review of his script, whichever one it is.

I do wish, if they have time, the mods would delete the posts here that have nothing to do with this script. It's unfair to the writer.

As I said twice, this writer is one talented SOB. If he/she is new to the forum, I hope they stick. If it's a regular, I suspect they could care less about votes, and hopefully these reviews are of some use to him/her.

The writing is super high quality.

I'm not going to be voting just supplying my reviews.

Spoilers!

It has witches. Used effectively I may add.
I liked the structure.
It has elements of what can be conceived as horror. It just didn't affect me.

Problems:

Three witches  attack a witch and all they can muster is a cat scratching her. While, a witch can raise hell on three witches?  I would expect a bit more damage upon the witch than a scratch. lol.

Also, I think this story is best for a feature or 30-59 pg. short. lol. Like some have pointed out, the reader never connects with a character, particularly whose good and bad. That should at least be established.

Hope this helps the writer,
Gabe

Since this is becoming THE thread, I will respond to Gabe: Yes!

I thought this felt like the set up for something bigger as well. I remember thinking while reading this felt more like the beginning of a TV or web series. Only problem with that is most of the characters died. However, if this was just using the space to test a concept, I have no problem at all with that.

It could be definitely be about Mallory. I saw it more as a movie than a series. But, anything could happen in writing.

Gabe

Well written, but this one felt relatively empty to me.  IE: a basic story of revenge, with characters that I didn't particularly care about on either side.  Obviously written by someone who has a solid understanding of the craft.  But...this one wasn't for me.

Cheers,

--J

Quoted from KevinLenihan I think what happened is I must have given a review of his script elsewhere that he didn't like, and he retaliated here.

Yeah, sounds like a tactic Screamer would employ. I'll buy that.

Do have to say the negative shit in this thread is a pretty big turn off... and it could have easily been avoided.  There was no need for those comments by Dustin.  You made your review, cool, you didn't have to step in, talking about someone "sucking dick" in their review.  That's just uncalled for.

Jeff doesn't kiss ass.  I hardly knew the guy when I sent him my first real script, and he was all over it.  He loved it.  And we weren't "buddies" then.  Over time, we got to know each other.

Then I sent him another script, and, buddy or no fucking buddy, he ripped the shit out of it.  Just because we were friends on here... that didn't hold him back.

If Jeff believes that he thinks a script is good, he'll let you know, friend or no friend.

Quoted from Guest Do have to say the negative shit in this thread is a pretty big turn off...

From what? You reading it? It didn't turn you off so much that you didn't respond though, eh. Not to mention adding your own negative shit, just to make things more interesting.

Quoted from Guest and it could have easily been avoided.

Yeah by Screamer shutting up and allowing people their reviews.

Quoted from Guest There was no need for those comments by Dustin.  You made your review, cool, you didn't have to step in, talking about someone "sucking dick" in their review.  That's just uncalled for.

That's a deliberate misrepresentation of events. I did not say Screamer was sucking dick in his review, I said that his attack of Kevin's review was. Screamer's actual review is his review... I don't give a shit about that. My issue was his attack of Kevin's review.

Quoted from Guest Jeff doesn't kiss ass.

Riiiight... and neither do you, I see.

Quoted from Guest I hardly knew the guy when I sent him my first real script, and he was all over it.  He loved it.  And we weren't "buddies" then.  Over time, we got to know each other.

:K)

Quoted from Guest Then I sent him another script, and, buddy or no fucking buddy, he ripped the shit out of it.  Just because we were friends on here... that didn't hold him back. If Jeff believes that he thinks a script is good, he'll let you know, friend or no friend.

That's all well and good. It's his opinion on other reviews that is the issue.

Quoted from Dreamscale Really, Simon?  Maybe you didn't read closely enough or maybe the writer chose to leave some things ambiguous. Shocked at the lack of love for this one.  It rocks and the writer obviously did a kickass job and spent alot of time coming up with this. And...no...this isn't mine and I have no clue who wrote it, but it deserves attention, if nothing else.

Quoted from Dreamscale I completely agree with Pia, that 45 reads in (or partial reads) this is easily the best or at least one of the best 3.  No denying that, IMO. It's sad to see Kev, who's a great writer himself, contantly slamming the few good entries here.  It makes ZERO sense to me.  I don't get it, I don't appreciate it, and I feel that his negativity to the obviously and batantly strongest written scripts sends a very bad message to everyone, of all levels of skill. And, add in a very obvious glowing review to a script that he either wrote or had a part in that was extremely weak at best, just pretty much seals the deal for me - take his comments with a few shakers of salt - be they good, bad, glowing, or extremely negative.

Attacks not just on Kevin's review but indeed his character... but yeah, I'm the bad guy for daring to say something to Screamer. It is actually Screamer that had no right saying those things. If he is being completely objective then he would allow other people their reviews and not try to sway the way other members think, using his (undoubted) influence.

Reaper, you have to admit, Jeff was completely out of line.The issue was not about Jeff's review, it was about his personal attack on me because he did not agree with my review...and about his hijacking this thread, which a veteran of SS should know better.

And I did not trash the script at all. I made clear I thought it was great writing. Also, it seems quite a few others shared my view about the characters and story. Which leads to speculation about Jeff's motives.

I'll be commenting on only the issue btw Jeff and Kev.

I agree with Reaper in regards to when Jeff likes something, he'll let you know. This is based off from experience from another challenge. :)

I'm use to Jeff so, I have no problem with him. When he writes a review I pay attention to it even if it's all negative comments about my script. lol. One can always find something useful in them.  His heart is at the right place.

However, people are entitled to their opinions about a script. Not everyone is going to like something. And it's just an opinion. The person doesn't have to listen to it. And based off what I read of Kev's review, he didn't trash it. He gave pros and cons. I wouldn't mind getting that type of review from Kev.  

Gabe

Thanks, Gabe, and I agree on all points. I never doubt Jeff's sincerity on his views, and I always read them. Always. Even if it's a random feature script that I have never opened. And I've always said, and I've always appreciated, that Jeff is one of the few long time members willing to give a new writer some honest feedback. It's very important and should be recognized.

His telling people to ignore my reviews was out of line. His questioning my motives was off base. And that will be even more apparent after the reveal.

People get heated, especially during OWC's. It's all good. I'm not angry. I still enjoy Jeff's being here. He does owe an apology, but that's up to him.

Y'all should work this out in PM's and get off my thread.  Yes, I AM the writer of this script and I don't appreciate you hijacking my thread for your "battle of the egomaniacs" dispute.

Ha.  I lie.  This isn't my script.  I don't have that kind of talent.  Now piss off all ya.  :D

Feel guilty even reading this one considering the number of attention it has already received. But I have to vote soon, and this got some rave reviews it seems. So here it goes.

Quite an unusual logline, but the title caught my eye.

Funny with the skeleton guy, and dig the black cat. One of the cliches I haven't seen used so far in this OWC. I own a black cat.

Found Molly shooting Penny in the head very funny! Added some charm to the script.

Brutality with Will. Love the gore!

This was very, very well written. No mistakes that I noticed. This idea obviously needed more pages, but with the amount given to you, you did very well. At the beginning it felt there was too many cuts, but that's not your fault. Just the constraints.

Great horror!

"She pulls a HAIR off a pink hairbrush and uses a candle flame to part it." -- Not sure what this means.

The writing here is excellent. Love the beetle scene and how evil Molly is. I was lost on why they were trying to kill her. They were just ordered to? But they obviously knew her. How? Molly seemed to have some kind of bond with Will but he was in bed with a dude. That confused me. I just didn't get the connection between Molly and the others.

Even though I ended up with questions, I really liked this. One of my faves. Great work here!! Congrats!  ;D

This is a hard one because, like others have said, I didn't really connect with the characters and therefore didn't really care what happened to either side.

But this was also a very entertaining read. It was good, clean, and I could picture this onscreen. So as a form of quick, fun entertainment - this works on many levels. And for what it is - I wouldn't change anything in it - and I don't recommend you do.

I don't know what else to say here, but good job :)

Renee

  

Weighted Matrix: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AsBznn8D13zOdGJValQtbHU1LUNPVWQzY0gzajRTTUE&usp=sharing

Producer's Notes: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NNGaVlrrpkjIfp-BRGjpTE03W1e5lZuRceJ3wQECYaI/edit?usp=sharing

41. Blind Casting by A Green Wort - Horror - Beware the words and their portent or lose your soul without repent, for caution and woe wait within for those with blackness born of sin.
Brief - A coven uses J-C witchcraft to mete vengeful justice to a dissenter

Location(s)  - Basement, forest clearing, coffee shop storeroom, grade school classroom
Cast - Thousands
ASHLEY, 20s, jet-black hair
WILL, 20s, long hair
PENNY, 20s, in a naughty nurse costume
HELEN, 30s, hair tied tight
MOLLY MADISON, 30s, dressed to the nines
GIRLFRIENDS 2X, 30s
Genre & Marketability - It'll cost more to make than it'll ever recover on revenues.
Comments  -  Page2: Oh, f*ck meeeeee! A fourth location and character?! Seriously?! This had better be good. "She pierces her finger with a needle and squeezes a blood drop onto the flame." Five bucks says you're confusing Satanists with modern pagan witches. Pg3: Yet ANOTHER location and CHARACTER. Groaaaan... Punching out at the cat. Can't make this script to screen. Ciao.
Script format - Good.
Final word - Too expensive to produce.

     Lo/Hi Estimated Budget Range
/      Screenplay Pages
= $      Estimated Cost Per Screen Minute

Adherence to Given Criteria:
Modern Witches and/or Warlocks -
Horror -

Easily my favorite.  Would love to hear from the writer.

I apologize for the shite I caused early on.

Great work, wonderful tone, and your spells show you either spent some time or just have a way with words.

Others said they couldn't connect with the characters or really care for anyone, but IMO, this seemed to be the structure you chose to use and for me, at least, it worked extemely well.

Excellent effort!