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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /   General Chat  /  Happy Birthday to Chuck Norris!
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 10th, 2014, 7:03pm
The man who built the house he was born in!




Phil
Posted by: DustinBowcot (Guest), March 11th, 2014, 2:17am; Reply: 1
That should be stuntman vs bear...
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 11th, 2014, 6:58am; Reply: 2
Mortals have birthdays...

Chuck is carbon dated!

Shawn.....><
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 13th, 2014, 10:44am; Reply: 3
Leave Chuck Norris alone!  Don't diss a man who lost his virginity before his father did.


Phil
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 8:24am; Reply: 4
I dare you to say that to Chuck's face.

Oh wait...

No one has ever seen Chuck's face

And lived!

Shawn.....><
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 8:38am; Reply: 5
When Chuck Norris steps in a puddle, he doesn't get wet; the puddle gets chuck!


Phil
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 10:50am; Reply: 6
It can't be Chuck's birthday...

Chuck died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Shawn.....><
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 2:21pm; Reply: 7
One time, Chuck Norris saw his reflection in a mirror and had a staring contest with himself.  Six days later, he won.


Phil
Posted by: Dreamscale (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 3:19pm; Reply: 8
If CHuck saw Shawn's avatar pic of his face in mean mode, it could be an epic stare down and confrontation.

Damn, dude...you look like a badass...but I know in reality, you're a candyass!   ;D ;D ;D
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 8:37pm; Reply: 9
Jesus has a t-shirt that reads, 'Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.'


Phil
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 8:47pm; Reply: 10
I read somewhere that the epic masterpiece movie, 300, was inspired when the writer actually witnessed Chuck shaving.

Shawn.....><
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 9:12pm; Reply: 11
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.  There's no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.


Phil
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 9:26pm; Reply: 12
Of course not! Chuck created sperm just to create himself.

I also read that the double helix was first discovered from discarded dental floss Chuck left at a Red lobster.

Shawn.....><
Posted by: Scoob, March 14th, 2014, 9:35pm; Reply: 13
Jokes aside, Chuck was involved in some pretty gritty flicks.
The "Missing In Action" films always make me smile but they have a very disturbing backbone.
"Delta Force" could care less about relations with the middle east, akin Rambo 3, but is still an enjoyable , if not mindless, romp of action.
I also digged Chuck's tsngle with the Myers-clone, in some film I can't recall, but he sent him flying down a sewer.
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 9:45pm; Reply: 14
Huh?

This whole thread is about Chuck and his awsomness...

In fact, Chuck called me

And said if he wasnt busy cleaning up the Russian bullshite

He would kickyour ass for not honoring his day.

Shawn.....
Posted by: Scoob, March 14th, 2014, 10:05pm; Reply: 15
Chuck tells me. I do.
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 10:11pm; Reply: 16
Redeam yourself...

Offer a Chuck-ism...

Quickly...
Posted by: Scoob, March 14th, 2014, 10:39pm; Reply: 17
You lose.

Walks away...

BANG!
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 10:50pm; Reply: 18

Quoted from Scoob
You lose.

Walks away...

BANG!


What? Where you running off to?

Or is that what someone says with no face meat?

Posted by: Scoob, March 14th, 2014, 10:55pm; Reply: 19

Quoted from Ledbetter


What? Where you running off to?

Or is that what someone says with no face meat?



Come on, man!

Check your Chuck!

lol,
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 11:00pm; Reply: 20
You dont get the Chuck thing, do ya?

God its akward When this happens.

Okay, ill "check my Chuck"..

And we should leave it at this...

Shawn
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 11:10pm; Reply: 21
Please stop!

Its like riding with somone over a cliff know the airbag on their side is disabled.

I digress !

In your language that means i forfet a frog for the village sake.

Shawn
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 11:14pm; Reply: 22
Man,  are not joking around?

This was a thread of jokes.

You stepped in serious, bro.

Oh and cunt isnt cool.

Shawn.....
Posted by: Scoob, March 14th, 2014, 11:14pm; Reply: 23
What?

I can't read gibberish.

Sorry.

Posted by: Scoob, March 14th, 2014, 11:17pm; Reply: 24
It was a joke.
Sorry, somehow this has not got across. Apologies, never meant to offend anyone. sorry
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 11:27pm; Reply: 25
You jump in on a thread that was meant to be lighthearted and call me out?

And then call me a cunt?

I can only say...

Wow, did you get to know me quick.

Shawn


Posted by: Scoob, March 14th, 2014, 11:34pm; Reply: 26
You making this out to be more than it is, yes, you are a cunt.
Posted by: Scoob, March 14th, 2014, 11:41pm; Reply: 27
Post-production,
You?
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 11:43pm; Reply: 28
Follow my sig...
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 14th, 2014, 11:56pm; Reply: 29
Lol

That wasnt the apoligy cry baby PM you just sent a minute ago.

You can act all That in front of the grown ups but i want you to know...

I accept your apoligy.

Shawn


Posted by: rendevous, March 15th, 2014, 12:02am; Reply: 30
Gentlemen please.

This thread is not about you. Or me. Or him. It's about Norris. Charles Jamie Norris. Now, be pure, be vigilant. And behave.

R
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 12:08am; Reply: 31
Red headed pumpkin fuck stick said what?

Look side show bob, youre outgunned even with no one aroung.

Let it go

Posted by: Scoob, March 15th, 2014, 12:13am; Reply: 32
I liked the pumpkin retort, must keep that. haha :)
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 12:20am; Reply: 33
Ren,

I tried to keep it about Chuck and the love.

Some people dont get it..

Shawn
Posted by: Scoob, March 15th, 2014, 4:12am; Reply: 34
At the same time, it's nothing deep and meangiful and were ( I am)  just having a crack,
Is what it is.
Posted by: jwent6688, March 15th, 2014, 6:08am; Reply: 35
Posted by: DustinBowcot (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 9:21am; Reply: 36


As they say up north... ta-ra Chuck.
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 4:13pm; Reply: 37

Quoted from Dreamscale
If CHuck saw Shawn's avatar pic of his face in mean mode, it could be an epic stare down and confrontation.

Damn, dude...you look like a badass...but I know in reality, you're a candyass!   ;D ;D ;D


You think, bro?

My wife dared me to post this pic. She thinks, and I agree, I look silly. That's why I used it.  :)

Shawn.....><
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 4:14pm; Reply: 38

Quoted from Scoob
Sorry to Ledbetter,

No way I can rationalise why I said what I did to him, I'm sorry.
No excuses. I'm sorry. I spoke wrong.




No worries brother!

I enjoyed the exchange.  8)

Take care,

Shawn.....><
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 7:17pm; Reply: 39
A lot of people have Superman pajamas.  Superman has Chuck Norris pajamas.


Phil
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 7:48pm; Reply: 40
Neal Armstrong wasn't the first man on the moon. Chuck got there first...

using a Stairmaster

Shawn.....><
Posted by: NickSedario (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 7:49pm; Reply: 41

Chuck Norris is a kick-ass Christian.  



God bless him.  
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 8:04pm; Reply: 42
Chuck Norris has a bear skin rug on his living room floor.  The bear isn't dead; he's just afraid to move.


Phil
Posted by: rendevous, March 15th, 2014, 8:37pm; Reply: 43

Quoted from TheSock
Cuck Norris has a bear skin rug on his living room floor.


Is Cuck his brother? The one with the special finger?

Posted by: oJOHNNYoNUTSo, March 15th, 2014, 9:08pm; Reply: 44
I heard Chuck's slow motion takedowns aren't actually edited.
Posted by: Ledbetter (Guest), March 15th, 2014, 10:43pm; Reply: 45
Chuck's nunchucks

CAN chuck wood.

Shawn.....><
Posted by: dogglebe (Guest), March 16th, 2014, 7:14am; Reply: 46
Chuck Norris has sex with every woman in the world once a month.  They bleed for a week afterwards.

That's probably my favorite.



Phil
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