Wake by Matthew Wake - Short, Fantasy, Romance - Wake has the perfect relationship, but the only place he can be with her, is in his dreams. 6 pages - pdf, format 8)

Read your script and I have a couple of pointers, hope these help!

I think by 'brain detector' you mean some type of device monitoring his brain activity? I think you can come up with a better term for this. 'Brain detector' kind of made me laugh.

A few errors here and there, i.e.

scene 2: '...starring at the sealing...' should be '...staring at the ceiling...'
scene 3: '...Wake and the woman is now lying on their sides...' should be 'are'

There's a few more, have a gander and spruce it up.

Are you looking to direct this yourself? If not, there are a far too many cut directions. This is something that should really be kept to a minimum when writing a spec script. And the steady dolly shot is a definite no-no.

Hey guys! I'm new hear, and exited to find this place!

I would love to know what you think and "feel" about my script. :)

We are currently in the start of pre-production and plan to shoot in the begining of July, on 16mm and the dream sequences on 8mm.

I would love you read and discuss your scripts as well!

Thank you!

Quoted from Andy JW Read your script and I have a couple of pointers, hope these help! I think by 'brain detector' you mean some type of device monitoring his brain activity? I think you can come up with a better term for this. 'Brain detector' kind of made me laugh. A few errors here and there, i.e. scene 2: '...starring at the sealing...' should be '...staring at the ceiling...' scene 3: '...Wake and the woman is now lying on their sides...' should be 'are' There's a few more, have a gander and spruce it up. Are you looking to direct this yourself? If not, there are a far too many cut directions. This is something that should really be kept to a minimum when writing a spec script. And the steady dolly shot is a definite no-no.

Thanks for reading!

I'll be sure to correct the english gramma. I'm from Denmark, so sometimes a few mistakes here and there!

The brain detector... I find it hard to define and describe. I imagined it something like this:
http://d.fastcompany.net/multisite_files/fastcompany/poster/2013/04/3008499-poster-1280-1-ways-brain-scanning-neuro-toys-will-change-everything.jpg
Havn't figured out how to discribe this :)

Yes, I'm going to direct it here in the summer. Also, was thinking about that last "DOLLY shot", I know it's a NO NO, but I want to emphasise the slow exposure of the ending.

Thanks again!