The Startling Exploits of Calico Bash by Michael Donovan Horn - Action, Adventure - When the enigmatic Mister Blank springs amoral bounty hunter Calico Bash from death row, he has one request: kill five criminals threatening the country.  But with the world's deadliest inventions in the criminal's hands, will Calico live to enjoy her freedom? 113 pages - pdf, format 8)

I recall this script from last year. Great read. Looking quickly at this rewrite I notice more CAPS and underlines... why? I also recall the author never showing up last year either.

The original was a good example of action writing.

Tony.

Hey Tony,

Thanks for reading.  Caps are for sounds, per industry standard, as are underlines to point out important info.

My changes make Calico less wooden and so her character arch is more pronounced, otherwise it's pretty much the same, as you saw.

Quoted from MichaelDonovanHorn Hey Tony, Thanks for reading.  Caps are for sounds, per industry standard, as are underlines to point out important info.

I think you are hurting the read here. Page 1has GUARD YAWNS. Do we really need that  emphasized? Coughing? Caps are fine for character introductions and maybe important items/scene changes in spec scripts. Anything else I would save for a shooting script to assist staff.

You are taking a risk turning off potential readers especially with the underlines. I'm curious what other board members think.

Tony

I agree with Tony. Underlines only belong in dialogue to emphasise... but today it is fine to use italics. Again though, this isn't something one should overuse.

Haven't opened it (yet.)  But one observation: love the title.  :)

--J (W)

Quoted from wonkavite Haven't opened it (yet.)  But one observation: love the title.  :) --J (W)

Too long to fit on a billboard marquee.  :o

Tony,

Thanks for the input, but I think Harrison Ford, George Lucas and Steve Spielberg might disagree. :)

Quoted from DustinBowcot I agree with Tony. Underlines only belong in dialogue to emphasise... but today it is fine to use italics. Again though, this isn't something one should overuse.

Dustin, thanks for commenting.  I'll take it under consideration.

From the first few pages I think the dialogue is smooth and natural, I'll try to finish it tonight.

Hey guys.

I took out the underlines and fixed the formatting a little.  Might repost it again with changes.

Gonna query this thing like mad over the next few months and see what I get.  Wish me luck.

Mike!