If you want more feedback read and comment on some of the scripts here. Most will usually return the favour.
In the meantime I'll have a look for you.
Don't use large fonts on the title page. It just makes it look silly. I can bear the odd bit of bold at a push but beyond that hurts. Stick to 12pt Courier.
A good title will do more to catch their eye. And this title's not bad.
You could lose some of the 'we' stuff. Sometimes it can work and be quickest way to describe something. But most of the time it just puts people's backs up. Avoid it.
Spec scripts don't need camera directions. I get you're trying to describe the scene and set it. But your header can do that for you.
In this case you could have skipped the first half of your first page and just started with the house. All that stuff before then is just scene setting. You may think that stuff is important. I'd say it isn't. The story is. And all that stuff delays it.
Keep paragraphs four lines or under. Always.
Lose the Cut To's as well. They're just taking up space.
Your dialogue often overuns the proper spacing. There's loads of stuff on this site about what's correct and acceptable in a Spec Script.
Alternatively there are pages like this -
http://filmschoolonline.com/sample_lessons/sample_lesson_format.htmOr search spec script format.
Once you apply all that to your script you'll find it shorter and more likely to get more reads. People can then focus on your story rather than formatting mistakes.
R