The Specialist by Samuel Reis - Short, Crime - Two sleazy "specialists" go to a jewellery warehouse to collect a debt from two other men, but they discover that they are not there, instead are two security officers. Violence and plot twist ensue. 12 pages - pdf, format 8)

Your opening is a little awkward:
1st-Capitalize your characters as they are introduced. And change it into present tense.
Try this: (ARTHUR and BILL, two British men in suits sit in a car smoking cigarettes.)
2nd- Your slug line, Jewelry is spelled wrong.
3rd-Describe your characters I know they are British but have no visual descriptions.
Pg. 4-It should be “Don't know.”
pg.4-Why did they walk into a robbery and announce their names? That was odd...

Unless you're filming it yourself it is usually frowned upon to write in music cues and camera shots. But thats just my two cents