Star Wars: Episode VII - The Crevasse Reaches by Daniel Viau - Sci Fi, Fantasy - The Empire returns 30 years after their supposed defeat, operating as smaller spinter cells (known as the Crevasse) hiding across the universe. They surface to hunt down the prophesized Jedi of ancient legend: the Sky Walker. 112 pages - pdf, format 8)

Had a quick look at this. Don't know if you're about, Daniel. If so mention it here and I'll tell you what I think. If you so desire.

R

Heh Ren...

I'm around. I'm really interested in feedback on this one. I'm still rewriting it.

It's intended as a writing sample, to help create interest in my other stuff.

Hopefully, my original scifi noir SLIPTHROUGH will get posted soon.

I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks in advance...

I actually recommend this if you're a Star Wars fan.  I didn't read it all, as I'm not too into the franchise as a whole, but from what I read this is a really good script.

-Lee

Big Star Wars nut here. I like some of what you're doing here but don't see what the point of this is other than fan fic. If you want to get reads on your own script then I would suggest putting all your time and effort into that instead of this.

I liked opening up with the dogfight, the prequels were sorely lacking in this dept, and some of the new tech you came up with. With 30 years of time passing you have to advance the universe some and you have. I could see the shield ships actually being up on the big screen and the new black tie fighter seemed cool and logical. However, and I'm interested in seeing how the new movies deal with this, X-wings would be old news by this time. I would think the New Republic would have something newer by this time. Maybe a "Super X-wing" like some of the comic books have done? Its so iconic you need it, but also have to justify it I think. I didn't like Leia's attitude however. She seemed so cold that they had lost pilots, seems out of character. Also, according to your scroll, the Republic is going out taking over star systems now? Have they turned into the Empire now?

Again, not bad from what I had time to read. But this script is a dead end. I'd much rather see what you come up with on your own.

Oh, I didn't realise it was you, LF. I thought the writer was a new type who may not respond.

Anyways, I got about ten pages in and thought it was actually pretty good. The title's even better than the rumoured one for E7 - The Ancient Fear, which as some wit said, is suitably and authentically rubbish.

I don't know a huge amount about Star Wars. I quite liked the first three films but always wondered why some got so obsessed by it. It's not the bloody Godfather.

Anyway, it starts well will the Tie Fighter business, a reminder of the first film. I'd start with DEEP SPACE rather than just SPACE, as that makes it sound like it's near our moon.

Abrams? Is his first name JJ? Rather cheeky.

I'm not gonna read on as I'm not really enough of a Star Wars fan to be able to properly judge.

But I will say it's quite well written and Star Wars fans should love it.

R

RE: Cameron.

I'm adapting this into an original as well. Outside of star wars.

This is intended as a writing sample, like a spec in a familiar franchise.

I submitted this on May 4th (Star Wars day), hoping to ride the interest of the next movie, the real episode 7.

I took my time developing this project. It is not intended as fan fiction. I totally understand any backlash.  Just know I am not a fanfic writer. This is the only time I've written something like this.

RE: the others... thanks for the kind words and support.

I really do appreciate it.

keep your eyes peeled for SLIPTHROUGH... an original. Hehehe.

I'll have at least 1 more feature coming, as well. These past few months have been rewriting of several projects. Tedious work.

I can't wait for Star wars 7. I wrote this considering what I believe 7 will actually be like... focusing on original cast, and introducing a new crew and backstory for a supposed trilogy. It may be too dense, but just know it's all presented with heavy consideration.

Thanks again for the comments.

I'm super excited for feedback.

Daniel,

checked out the first ten pages or so.  Not enough of a Star Wars fan to make it through the whole thing, though with that said it looks like you put the work into this and the few pages I did read were well written.  The opening action sequences were lean, crisp and engaging -- as were a few others I checked out further down.

That’s all I got for this one, as it’s just not for me.  Though based on the writing alone I’ll be looking forward to checking out ‘Slipthrough.’

All the best,

Steve.

For those interested my original scifi noir SLIPTHROUGH was just added.

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-Scifi/m-1399844039/

Just checking in...

if anyone wants to swap reviews, I'd be interested.

I hope this STAR WARS helps with the long wait for Abrams Episode 7.

If you're a fan of the original trilogy I think you'll  have a lot of fun with CREVASSE.

Enjoy it. And if you're entertained check out my original feature SLIPTHROUGH.

That latest STAR WARS trailer was great! If you're in the mood for more check my spec script writing sample.

I've adapted this in my experimental PICTUREplay format. You can read my script with images and musical score.

http://thelastfountain.wordpress.com

I've published this in Chapters. You can search on my site to start at the 1st one.

I hope you like it. I am not a fanfic writer, this was to get more interest in my original screenplays.

Enjoy,
D A N

Quoted from Last Fountain That latest STAR WARS trailer was great! If you're in the mood for more check my spec script writing sample. I've adapted this in my experimental PICTUREplay format. You can read my script with images and musical score. http://thelastfountain.wordpress.com I've published this in Chapters. You can search on my site to start at the 1st one. I hope you like it. I am not a fanfic writer, this was to get more interest in my original screenplays. Enjoy, D A N

Dan,

You are having real actors represent your work. I would be careful if you are doing this without permission. As far as  not being a fan, why else would you write a Star Wars script without compensation?

Just saying...

Tony