Stuff That Happened by Rodney Ohebsion - Short, Comedy - Half hour history-themed sketch comedy series, most suitable for Comedy Central, HBO, or The History Channel. 16 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey Rodney.

So to start, your logline isn't telling us anything about what this is about.  Loglines give the reader a brief idea of what the story is about.

Page 1 isn't working for me.  No "FADE IN" at the start.  No setup with your first scene.  I'm not exactly sure about how a series is formatted but there's still an issue with the writing.  Read a few scripts and get a feel for the craft.  Good luck with it.

-Johnny

Johnny

Thanks for the feedback

What do you mean by

"I'm not exactly sure about how a series is formatted but there's still an issue with the writing. "