The Fishing Sky by Meemo Prasad - Short, Fantasy - A young fisher boy gives the idea of invention of the bulb. 4 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi there

So it's clear that English is not your first language - no issue with that but if you want someone to make this short they'll strugge to get into it as it stands... see if you can find some help with a better translation,

As it is it's a little to difficult to follow, but my thoughts for what's here is that the action lines need to be shorter as at the inute they are a little over blown, unclear and repetitive at times.

Also the last page has Thomas Edition mentioned connected to electrical and light... is this meant to be Thomas Edison? Or are you alluding to him.

Anthony