Bromego by Tyler Weyersberg - Short, Comedy - No logline. 5 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi Tyler

Some thoughts...

- You need a logline, check out some on here, it will help people work out if they want to read it.
- Your cover page doesn't have your details on it, add them.
- Camera direction is a no no in a spec script, considered bad form and should be left for the director to figure out (unless you are intending to direct yourself?)
- After the first slugline we need something that sets the scene and intorduces the characters, as it is we don't get anything about Trevor or Philips re ages or anything.
- Trevor's speech is meant to be high brow, I'm guessing to allow the character to drop in the Spanish line? Not sure this worked for me...
- Holds a jukebox is an odd image, maybe better as MP2 player?
- Bros not hoes - again don't think this works with Trevor's speech.

Liked the transition of the date into Trevor and back but think the bromance needs more build up to allow the pay off.

Hope that's useful, all just my opinion of course.

Anthony