Em Evol by Neal Adams (Najapa) - Drama, Thriller - The lines between fantasy and reality are blurred for a man after meeting a mystery woman. Leaving him to decide if he's losing his mind, or if there's more to her than it seems. 122 pages - pdf format

production: The script was under option a few years back, but now is not.

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Got in several pages and this does not read like a comedy (to me).

Seems I've read this same log line before.  But a condensed version.  Is the writer even around?  The writing is pretty good, but you seem to flip-flop between present and past tense.

Right off the bat you say, "Strobe lights are flashing".  Shoud be "Strobe lights flash".

@ Caleb thanks for the tip I'll review it today, I never thought about that. I've evolved as a writer but I'm not beyond constructive criticism. The only real writing is rewriting right.

@ Caleb I actually had a shorter logline that got an actor interested in the screenplay but other writers felt it was too vague. On my query letter my logline is simply "what if the girl you were getting to know already knew everything about you?" It's worked for me so far, I've gotten several requests and good reviews on the screenplay this is my most recent rewrite. I'm hoping to hear from the actor's rep soon as well as a known director that has shown interest wish me luck and I'll be checking out your work as well. I wish you much success.

Quoted from NaJaPa @ Caleb I actually had a shorter logline that got an actor interested in the screenplay but other writers felt it was too vague. On my query letter my logline is simply "what if the girl you were getting to know already knew everything about you?" It's worked for me so far, I've gotten several requests and good reviews on the screenplay this is my most recent rewrite. I'm hoping to hear from the actor's rep soon as well as a known director that has shown interest wish me luck and I'll be checking out your work as well. I wish you much success.

I hope it works out for you.

The title doesn't seem to fit the genre. It gives off more of a horror/drama feeling.

Anyway, I read the whole spec and it was decently enjoyable.  Some moments made me laugh like the early dialogue bits between Dame and Chris.

One thing to fix is the parentheticals as they should have their own line in dialogue blocks. (I am by no means a professional, just stating what I know)

It started off well... Intriguing. But we don't see Samantha again until page 34, I think. Until then, meaningless conversations with Maria and Dane, Natasha, Francesca, and god knows who else... Stopped reading around page 20.

Hi.. Why is every one questioning why is it a COMEDY? When its listed under DRAMA - Author states its a DRAMA THRILLER ?  

Considering this is six years old it might be a moot point. Ah, I see Don posted a revised draft last year but I don't think the writer has made an appearance for a while.

Barry, perhaps there was a genre move from when it was first posted.

Ilya, welcome to SS.

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