Explorers Pilot by Christopher Andre - Sci Fi, Fantasy - Explorers (1 hr. Sci-Fi/Action) Earth's survivors have been forced to go deep underground to reboot society.  A group of young criminals are tasked to explore the Earth's surface to seek out resources. What they find up above is far more frightening than anything they could have imagined. 48 pages - pdf, format 8)

I like sci fi so I read up to the first act. Cut the teaser. It's generic and boring. Nuclear war, survivors go underground. The Matrix, Fallout, and even 12 Monkeys say hi.

Your character intros are all wrong I would say. Describe the charecters at first glance, but don't give us backstory. Don't tell us so and so is a "bad ass" for example. Show us he is through dialouge and action. A lot of your dialogue is also too on the nose. Your characters say exactly what they are thinking, there is no subtlety to any of it. Common mistakes for new writers.

On to the plot. Why do the characters have to go to the surface? If it's so important why are criminals going? Why are guards stopping people? Why do they need weapons? What does a nuclear village look like? These people live underground but I am not getting anything about what life is like underground as opposed to life on the surface. Do they live in giant caves? Bunkers? Spider holes? Everything is too vague and you have given no reasons for your characters actions.

Also, some of your descriptions need work. A long tube is more than 10 ft. Pick one or the other, but both. Connor literally bounces a gun off his foot back into his hand? Is it a rubber gun? Why are there manholes in underground cities? And why are weapon caches hidden beneath them?