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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Thriller Scripts  /  The Cankee
Posted by: Don, June 18th, 2014, 4:44pm
The Cankee by Todd Cook - Thriller - A middle-aged professor returns to a remote camp site to see if a childhood nightmare has any basis in reality.  90 pages - doc, format 8)
Posted by: c m hall, June 18th, 2014, 11:28pm; Reply: 1
Spoilers, etc.
I enjoyed reading this, it held my attention -- the elements of nostalgia mixed with repressed fear work well, and the curiosities like the Stones video, keep the reader's interest.  
The reference to "It" by Stephen King appears at the right time, I think, confronting the reader with this shared memory by way of a conversation between friends, keeps us off balance, half assures us not to take things too seriously.  
So, my feeling is that this is an entertaining story, well written (supposing this is still in draft form) with an ending that possibly fits but I think could be improved.  I don't mind having loose ends in a thriller / horror story, but the problem for me is that Steve, as a character, does not ever become a distinct personality, and so his uncertain adventures remain unique to him, alone.  That makes for a creepy ending, which is adequate, but I felt let down that Steve did not have some clear realization that the horror that is his life, or is himself, or is his mind, whatever you choose, fits right into the horror that is the rest of the world.   And he's alright with that.  Well, maybe that's just the ending I wanted.
Also, there's a mention of the animal, page 44, I think, "she's still in his pen" that I'm kind of hoping was a typo.  Shame on me if I'm just missing the point again.  

Anyway, a good read.
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