Folks,

If the user submitted anonymously or with a pen name, I used that.  Otherwise, I posted the name of the author.  

Below are the links to the scripts received.


Don


Shadow Games by Phantom_Writer - Thriller - A sadistic psychopath kidnaps a middled-aged man's family and turns him into his own personal weapon. - pdf, format 8)

Bone Deep by Tinkerbell - Thriller - When only a bone marrow transplant can save his dying son and the only compatible donor is a violent drug lord who will never donate, a Doctor realises he will have to break the law,and every one of his morals, in a deadly race against time to try and save him. - pdf, format 8)

The Killing Lottery by Anonymous1 - Thriller - After Jasper Kidd lost his wife on 9/11, homicidal tendencies let him fall into the hands of the bookmaker, a man deeply involved in a top secret killing competition. - pdf, format 8)

Slow Mo by Yo Mamma - Thriller - A man, shot in the head and seeing things in slow motion has to figure out who's trying to kill him and why. - pdf, format 8)

Balancing Act by Ben There & Don That - Thriller - Mistaken for a master thief, a reformed con artist has to pull off the perfect heist or be framed for murder. - pdf, format 8)

Firestorm by Giles Redferne - Thriller - A medieval wizard time travels to 2014 to right a wrong committed in his own time. - pdf, format 8)

Manhunt by Anonymous2 - Thriller - A convict escapes from prison with an army of cops out after him, to find his son before an old nemesis reaches him first. - pdf, format 8)

Vow to Kill by Anonymous3 - Thriller - A former soldier rebuilding his life after his wife's death is about to get remarried when he is suddenly thrust into a dangerous mission by a deranged madman. Succeed or fail, the world will never be the same again. - pdf, format 8)

Gold & 38 by Sean Chipman - Thriller - A hitman awakens from a crash with no memory of the events. All he remembers is his job; to kill his wife, a United States Senator. - pdf, format 8)

Monsters of the Night by Anonymous4 - Thriller - A decade after losing the most important fight in his career, a retired boxer is forced to venture through distant memories of his pitiful life in search of his innocent daughter captured by a horrific creature. - pdf, format 8)

Stop The Plot by David Campese - Thriller - After uncovering a plot to assassinate a Chinese dignitary on US soil, a journalist teams up with a British spy in a race against time to stop the attack and prevent WWIII. - pdf, format 8)

Time To Forget by Will Race - Thriller - A man whose memory has been erased is sent on a covert mission, but as his target draws closer he begins to question the motives of his employer. - pdf, format 8)

Cutting by Anonymous5 - Thriller - A defense attorney assigned to a prisoner on death row must unravel the mystery behind a decades old serial child murder case before it's too late. - pdf, format 8)

Back by Anonymous6 - Thriller - When a timid nurse learns males will be extinct in 200 years, it is up to her to embark on a terrifying journey through time to help an inventor protect his work from feminist space officials before mankind is forever doomed. - pdf, format 8)

Thank you Don...no hurry man!

Awesome Don... the first batch are good thus far!  Great work folks.

How many entered??

Quoted from Pale Yellow How many entered??

I'm wondering too. Quite a few it seems:

Quoted from Don Folks,  These may take a couple three days to get posted. Apologies for the delay. Don

I believe some people wrote 2 or maybe 3 possible feature openings. And depending on what we say, they'll choose one.

Gabe

Quoted from Mr.Ripley I believe some people wrote 2 or maybe 3 possible feature openings. And depending on what we say, they'll choose one. Gabe

Ah, sounds like you're 'in the know'.

Did you end up posting one Gabe?

Holy moly people! I'm stoked to see so many entries!!!!! For awhile there, I thought there might just be one or two so I started tinkering, but you guys are great! Let's help each other make the best scripts that SS can possibly turnout! Awesome!  8)

Good turn out folks.

I'll try and read a few when I can

I may as well bring this up here, but I thought the idea here was to create something along the lines of things we've all seen before... to write for a specific market. That's what I'm marking on.

Not much we can do with a race against the clock thriller, aside from make it fast-paced action. That's all the viewer really wants. The story must make sense, yeah, but just because we've seen it before doesn't make what we're reading shitty. I watch films that are the same over and over again, we all do. It's easy. We don't have to think too hard about it. Put it on, lots of action, thrills and spills, turn it off having been entertained. That's it.

This kind of script simply needs to be entertaining. So one should get marks for action and pacing... not marked down because it's something we've all seen before.

I did not LC. I have an idea for it though but, due to work, couldn't do it. I will be reading and contributing though.

Gabe

Quoted from DustinBowcot Not much we can do with a race against the clock thriller, aside from make it fast-paced action. That's all the viewer really wants. The story must make sense, yeah, but just because we've seen it before doesn't make what we're reading shitty. I watch films that are the same over and over again, we all do. It's easy. We don't have to think too hard about it. Put it on, lots of action, thrills and spills, turn it off having been entertained. That's it. This kind of script simply needs to be entertaining. So one should get marks for action and pacing... not marked down because it's something we've all seen before.

I see where you're coming from, but for me it's different.  I'm not interested nor am I entertained by something I have seen a zillion times before.  If it's approached from a really different, unique angle, then all of what I just said goes out the window and I'll start getting interested.  Now I'm not trying to strike up a debate here with you, because I can understand that some people are just different and that's that, but I had a really hard time reading some of these first 10's because they felt like been there, done that (I won't say they all do, because I haven't read all of them, but I'm not very enthusiastic about accomplishing those reads).  I started getting frustrated.

One thing to remember here is that these are just the rough first ten pages of features. They will not be perfect and the stories will evolve maybe even change completely along the way. Some people might decide to go a whole different route when they read some of these comments on the first ten.

I've only read two so far and it seems they do not yet have a male lead in their 50s.

I usually rewrite the first ten anyway after a first draft is down. I think that what we (as writers) should take from this is whether our premise has merit or not.

Quoted from Grandma Bear One thing to remember here is that these are just the rough first ten pages of features. They will not be perfect and the stories will evolve maybe even change completely along the way. Some people might decide to go a whole different route when they read some of these comments on the first ten. I've only read two so far and it seems they do not yet have a male lead in their 50s.

You have a point, Pia.  I will keep this in consideration.  :)

I must agree with Dustin.  The concept here is to deliver a fast-paced THRILLER that doesn't let up for a second.  That means you need to jump right into it, get to the inciting incident within the first page or two.

This also means you can't waste time saying "hey folks, here's a happy family, get to know them for a few pages before something bad happens to them so you can care", not exactly the point of the challenge.  

It's not a drama, lol.  It's a race-against-time thriller where the main protagonist has a limited time to do something.  In RAT thrillers, the point is to invoke a sense of uncertainty and suspense.  

Quoted from Guest I'm not interested nor am I entertained by something I have seen a zillion times before.

Unless it's an escape from death row flick?

If we don't care about the protag...why would we root for him to win? Thriller or not, your protag has to connect with people or they won't give a cr@p if he gets what he wants.

Quoted from Leegion I must agree with Dustin.  The concept here is to deliver a fast-paced THRILLER that doesn't let up for a second.  That means you need to jump right into it, get to the inciting incident within the first page or two. This also means you can't waste time saying "hey folks, here's a happy family, get to know them for a few pages before something bad happens to them so you can care", not exactly the point of the challenge.   It's not a drama, lol.  It's a race-against-time thriller where the main protagonist has a limited time to do something.  In RAT thrillers, the point is to invoke a sense of uncertainty and suspense.

I cannot agree with this at all.  Sorry...just can't.

Sure, some scripts/movies start off with a bang and that can be great, but usually, that bang does not involve our main Protag.  There is a feeling out process. A getting to know and like you process.

Actuyally, it's alot like life - trust me, I've had more than my fair share of bang bang meetings that start off like fireworks on the 4th of July, but usually, those relationships are short lived.

Take any classic thriller and I think you'll understand what I'm talking about...

Quoted from DustinBowcot Unless it's an escape from death row flick?

LOL I see you saw my post in the Cutting thread.  Yeah, I'll admit I have seen stuff like that already - Dead Man Walking, The Life of David Gale, that one Eastwood movie but the name escapes me right now - but to me it felt fresh because we didn't open right off the bat with what everyone else was doing:  cops, spies, agents, terrorists, etc.  Plus, there was just an aspect of that first 10 that hit me in the heart, and I felt connected right away.  It's just my opinion of course.

Quoted from Leegion I must agree with Dustin.  The concept here is to deliver a fast-paced THRILLER that doesn't let up for a second.

That's cool and everything and I'm not saying to waste 30-40 pages on building character, but Marnie is right and Jeff as well.  I have to at least care some what about the protag in some way to give a rat's ass whether he beats the clock or not.  It's like the opening of Godzilla.  The writer expects us to cry because the wife is about to die?  No, that's not happening, because we just met these people, we don't care if they die or not.

Have all of them been posted?

Quoted from Guest That's cool and everything and I'm not saying to waste 30-40 pages on building character, but Marnie is right and Jeff as well.  I have to at least care some what about the protag in some way to give a rat's ass whether he beats the clock or not.  It's like the opening of Godzilla.  The writer expects us to cry because the wife is about to die?  No, that's not happening, because we just met these people, we don't care if they die or not.

But what if the writer does tell you after those 10 pages?  I'm not saying they literally throw it in your face, but if it happens over a conversation...

Not that it bothers me.

Quoted from Leegion But what if the writer does tell you after those 10 pages?  I'm not saying they literally throw it in your face, but if it happens over a conversation...

Screenwriting rule numero uno....show...don't tell.

Telling us info doesn't make people connect.

Quoted from mmmarnie Screenwriting rule numero uno....show...don't tell. Telling us info doesn't make people connect.

It's a restriction.  I see that a lot in the screenwriting world.  So many restrictions to hold people back from achieving anything. (< such as orphans)

It's one of the things I despise about this craft.  Too many darn rules.  No room for any sort of freedom whatsoever, everything has to be a certain way or it's not right.

That was a mini-rant, lol.  

Quoted from Leegion It's one of the things I despise about this craft.  Too many darn rules.  No room for any sort of freedom whatsoever, everything has to be a certain way or it's not right.

IMO opinion, A thriller is just like any other story.

Either get the interest of the reader right out of the gates, or lose them.

And in this area, rules really not apply. Just get their attention...and hold it.  :)

Shawn.....><

I would rather see a little bondage ... like the character or at least sympathize with them... BEFORE it goes balls to the walls... why would you even watch it if you didn't care the outcome??

Another thing ...I've seen some that start so fast then drop by somewhere in the second act...I understand setting the tone at the beginning, but be careful planning something you can't hold up. A thriller should elevate as it moves to the finish. And if you have to stop midway through it because you can't keep up the action, then what? Character set up can be done even with action/suspense going on at the same time.

Thriller or not...we have to buy into the characters. IMO.

Quoted from Pale Yellow Thriller or not...we have to buy into the characters. IMO.

Perfect!!!

Shawn.....><

More bondage!!!   ;D ;D ;D ;D

Lee, screw rules, but be smart.  Orphans are a problem for you?  As in, you want to have them littering your script?  Why...seriously...why?

Quoted from Ledbetter IMO opinion, A thriller is just like any other story. Either get the interest of the reader right out of the gates, or lose them. And in this area, rules really not apply. Just get their attention...and hold it.  :) Shawn.....><

Agreed, mate.  I've always considered it a good idea to SNAP a person's interest and as you said, hold it, rather than do the common "here's some people, get to know them before this thing happens".

I usually do this, then worry about developing those characters afterwards.  Throw the reader into the middle of it, then make them care.

Quoted from Pale Yellow I would rather see a little bondage ... like the character or at least sympathize with them... BEFORE it goes balls to the walls... why would you even watch it if you didn't care the outcome?? Another thing ...I've seen some that start so fast then drop by somewhere in the second act...I understand setting the tone at the beginning, but be careful planning something you can't hold up. A thriller should elevate as it moves to the finish. And if you have to stop midway through it because you can't keep up the action, then what? Character set up can be done even with action/suspense going on at the same time. Thriller or not...we have to buy into the characters. IMO.

I can understand why.  But what if it starts fast, then you get to know these people as it rolls on?  That's what I'd go for in this situation.

The "drop" in pace too, agreed.  If you're gonna write a thriller, IMO, write a thriller that never stops.  You don't need something that starts insanely quickly, then drops its pace in Act 2, just keep it going at all times.  Thrillers, as you said, must elevate.

The character set-up is also possible with the action and suspense running alongside, I'd go for something around these lines.  You get to know them as they face that ticking clock and even if this utilizes flashbacks, the plot's still moving forward as you start to unravel what this character did to get to the point they're at now.

Characters are fundamental to great stories.  I know this from novels, though novels are considerably EASIER to write than screenplays are, yes I said that.

-Lee

Quoted from Dreamscale More bondage!!!   ;D ;D ;D ;D Lee, screw rules, but be smart.  Orphans are a problem for you?  As in, you want to have them littering your script?  Why...seriously...why?

LOL after I posted that I thought...someone is going to think KINK here ;) haha I mean bondage as in characters caring for characters; audience caring for characters :) haha so don't get out the duct tape!!

Bondage...of course. I still have a few riding crops around. Not to mention those boots. Now where the hell did I put those. It's been awhile. ;D

Since TAKEN was mentioned earlier, it's pretty much a straight drama, almost, until the 28 minute mark when the daughter gets taken. In SPEED, the action starts right off the bat and never lets up. Different way to do things. :)

Quoted from Dreamscale More bondage!!!   ;D ;D ;D ;D Lee, screw rules, but be smart.  Orphans are a problem for you?  As in, you want to have them littering your script?  Why...seriously...why?

They're not really a problem as much as they are a hinderance.  I mean, when I'm writing something, I want to write it without worrying about how it looks.

Say, you have an action sentence, but it goes one word too long and takes up a whole line by itself.  Then you have to either go back and find another way to say it, or add another word that may break up the action but keep that orphan with a family.

It's a minor annoyance of mine if anything.  I don't want them littering my script, I just don't like having to restructure sentences if one word takes up a line.

Quoted from Leegion It's a restriction.  I see that a lot in the screenwriting world.  So many restrictions to hold people back from achieving anything. (< such as orphans) It's one of the things I despise about this craft.  Too many darn rules.  No room for any sort of freedom whatsoever, everything has to be a certain way or it's not right. That was a mini-rant, lol.

"Show don't tell" is the number one rule because no one is going to care about your main character if they don't connect. It's not like a format rule, it's a basic writing rule.

Like in the first "Lethal Weapon". Do you think the set up would have had as much impact if Mel Gibson just told Danny Glover the story about his wife? First ten pages...ACTION, EXPLOSION, GUNFIRE, then..."oh yeah, my wife died and I'm pretty bummed about it"...ACTION, CAR CHASE, BANG BANG, THE END.

Mel Gibson's set up was so freakin awesome because it showed us he was a truly flawed individual. We connected, therefore we wanted him to win...even in Lethal Weapon 2. By #3 I didn't care anymore, but that's another story about too many sequels.

Quoted from mmmarnie "Show don't tell" is the number one rule because no one is going to care about your main character if they don't connect. It's not like a format rule, it's a basic writing rule. Like in the first "Lethal Weapon". Do you think that opening scene would have had as much impact if Mel Gibson just told Danny Glover the story about his wife? First ten pages...ACTION, EXPLOSION, GUNFIRE, then..."oh yeah, my wife died and I'm pretty bummed about it"...ACTION, CAR CHASE, BANG BANG, THE END. That first scene was so freakin awesome because it set him up as a truly flawed individual. We connected, therefore we wanted him to win...even in Lethal Weapon 2. By #3 I didn't care anymore, but that's another story about too many sequels.

Never seen Lethal Weapon before, so I don't really know much about it.  

I've done what you said in the past though.  I've opened up with something dark and twisted, but people said it's too soon to give a damn... leaving me sitting here scratching my head thinking "so do something else?" and then I do something else and someone says the complete opposite, lol.

Ah... 'tis the world we live in, haha.

Quoted from Leegion I've done what you said in the past though.  I've opened up with something dark and twisted, but people said it's too soon to give a damn... leaving me sitting here scratching my head thinking "so do something else?" and then I do something else and someone says the complete opposite, lol. Ah... 'tis the world we live in, haha.

Do what you want to do, man!!!!  ;D

There's always going to be people who don't like it.

The question you should ask, is do YOU like it and does it appeal to the "general" reader.

If so, sleep well...

Shawn.....><

I'm in the camp that believes in setting up a character. Take 'The Raid' for example. It may not be a thriller exactly, depending on your definition of thriller, as it is thrilling. But it's been labelled as one of the best action flicks of all time by some. The first 10-15 minutes of that aren't balls to the wall action.

SPOILER WARNING JUST IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE RAID

We get to see Rama praying a bit, practising his skills, kissing his pregnant wife, and we find out he's a rookie. It's all set up to make us root for him when the faeces hits the fan. And it works if you ask me. Throw in the fact you've got a bad guy who kills some guys with a hammer instead of putting more bullets in his gun, we know who these guys are and which one we want to see win.

END SPOILER

I've got no problem with the so called rules either. But in reality, I like something because it hooks me, not because Jonny Handsome saves a cat and all the beats get followed precisely. Rules can be used as a blueprint, but in no way have to be followed.

For this challenge, I've done a beat sheet purely because I think it will help me. I've never managed to finish a feature and I'm finding it works as a good guide. But now I wonder if some will be against it because I AM following those rules. It's a double edged sword if you ask me.

Meeting Martin Riggs -- Lethal Weapon 1 --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpOqkz86_lg

Quoted from Grandma Bear Bondage...of course. I still have a few riding crops around. Not to mention those boots. Now where the hell did I put those. It's been awhile. ;D Since TAKEN was mentioned earlier, it's pretty much a straight drama, almost, until the 28 minute mark when the daughter gets taken. In SPEED, the action starts right off the bat and never lets up. Different way to do things. :)

:) lol @ bondage... I think even World War Z had four minutes of bondage/family building  before it went full blast until the end. I don't mind a slower set up ...as long as the story builds and gets faster along the way. Sometimes that four minutes is what will make us root for the character...hope for the outcome etc. ;)

Quoted from Leegion I must agree with Dustin.  The concept here is to deliver a fast-paced THRILLER that doesn't let up for a second.  That means you need to jump right into it, get to the inciting incident within the first page or two. This also means you can't waste time saying "hey folks, here's a happy family, get to know them for a few pages before something bad happens to them so you can care", not exactly the point of the challenge.   It's not a drama, lol.  It's a race-against-time thriller where the main protagonist has a limited time to do something.  In RAT thrillers, the point is to invoke a sense of uncertainty and suspense.

I think different thrillers have different pacing and different structures. As long as there's something - a scene, interesting characters, to hook your audience to make you read on. Yes, some movies grab you from the get go and never let up BURIED for example, though I'd argue even they have some slower paced down time scenes to contrast (not BURIED  :D ) and I think that's part of good story telling too.

Take for example: The 39 Steps, Arlington Road, Double Indemnity, Enemy of the State, True Crime, all are different and all are thrillers. Some are grab on for the ride from the outset and some begin slower. I seem to remember with Taken that there was probably at least 10 pages (10 mins) of character setup via the split family i.e., the daughter's birthday/divorce etc.  and it comes across as purely soap/drama to begin with.

I think the mistake some are making is in reading and judging too quickly the first 10 and deciding whether it fits the criteria of thriller per se. I'm also quite amazed at the assumptions people make of where a story line is going... but I expect that's good too cause I might pull the rug out and give you what you least expect.

What I am enjoying at the moment are the reviews that give me suggestions for what what they think can make for a better opening/first ten, not just what they don't like but what they do think is working. I'll be outing myself after a few more reviews cause it's hard and also cause I want interaction but anon is good to begin with.

Thanks for allowing me to rant. Main thing is I hope I can finish the darn thing in the allocated time.

What I'm basically looking for is logline and story. It's 10 pgs so we're not going to get much. The fact they finished it is congratulations enough in my book. lol.

Gabe

Quoted from LC I think different thrillers have different pacing and different structures. As long as there's something - a scene, interesting characters, to hook your audience to make you read on. Yes, some movies grab you from the get go and never let up BURIED for example, though I'd argue even they have some slower paced down time scenes to contrast (not BURIED  :D ) and I think that's part of good story telling too. Take for example: The 39 Steps, Arlington Road, Double Indemnity, Enemy of the State, True Crime, all are different and all are thrillers. Some are grab on for the ride from the outset and some begin slower. I seem to remember with Taken that there was probably at least 10 pages (10 mins) of character setup via the split family i.e., the daughter's birthday/divorce etc.  and it comes across as purely soap/drama to begin with. I think the mistake some are making is in reading and judging too quickly the first 10 and deciding whether it fits the criteria of thriller per se. I'm also quite amazed at the assumptions people make of where a story line is going... but I expect that's good too cause I might pull the rug out and give you what you least expect. What I am enjoying at the moment are the reviews that give me suggestions for what what they think can make for a better opening/first ten, not just what they don't like but what they do think is working. I'll be outing myself after a few more reviews cause it's hard and also cause I want interaction but anon is good to begin with. Thanks for allowing me to rant. Main thing is I hope I can finish the darn thing in the allocated time.

You're spot-on with that, LC.  Every thriller is unique in that it either starts with a balls to the wall incident or takes a while to build.  

I've finished mine, so I know where everything leads, and after reading some comments on my own, I've added a scene at the start (thanks to Marnie for that LW scene) that shows a boy in the snow, cold and alone. This is exceptionally ambiguous, lol.  

Taken, from what I recall, has:
Liam Neeson protecting Holly Valance, then he goes to a poker game, then he meets with his chicken-waddle daughter at her birthday, she goes to Paris, gets napped and then stuff hits the fan.  Or does he do the poker game first and then protect Valance?  Been a while since I watched it.  I know it takes about 15-20 mins.

The real challenge, if you go balls-to-the-wall, is keeping up the pace you set.  I've read a few, some are paced slower than others, some faster.  The pace however, is the key to delivering something memorable.

If you go slower, then that's fine, as long as it becomes a RAT it's all good.

-Lee

Quoted from Leegion The real challenge, if you go balls-to-the-wall, is keeping up the pace you set.  I've read a few, some are paced slower than others, some faster.  The pace however, is the key to delivering something memorable. If you go slower, then that's fine, as long as it becomes a RAT it's all good. -Lee

Absolutely agree - the RAT is crucial which means at some point, earlier being preferable, your audience is going to be on the edge of their seat.

Quoted from Leegion I've finished mine, so I know where everything leads, and after reading some comments on my own, I've added a scene at the start (thanks to Marnie for that LW scene) that shows a boy in the snow, cold and alone. This is exceptionally ambiguous, lol.

.

Yep, I also got a suggestion which I might go with which is why this early feedback is great.

Quoted from LC Absolutely agree - the RAT is crucial which means at some point, earlier being preferable, your audience is going to be on the edge of their seat. Yep, I also got a suggestion which I might go with which is why this early feedback is great.

Definitely.  I like thrillers that jump right into the "thrills" rather than building up to it.  Big fan of 90s thrillers such as Speed and Scream, the latter of which is more of a comedy horror, but still keeps you on the edge.

I've already made several edits to the opening 10 due to feedback.  Nothing too big, just a couple of scenes.  I, maybe like some others, wrote the opening 10 in a way that gives readers an idea of the concept.  It won't be the same at the end.

Quoted from Leegion I've added a scene at the start (thanks to Marnie for that LW scene) that shows a boy in the snow, cold and alone. This is exceptionally ambiguous, lol.  -Lee

Pardon my ignorance but what is LW? Light weight, low wattage, left wing??? :D

Quoted from Leegion They're not really a problem as much as they are a hinderance.  I mean, when I'm writing something, I want to write it without worrying about how it looks. Say, you have an action sentence, but it goes one word too long and takes up a whole line by itself.  Then you have to either go back and find another way to say it, or add another word that may break up the action but keep that orphan with a family. It's a minor annoyance of mine if anything.  I don't want them littering my script, I just don't like having to restructure sentences if one word takes up a line.

So don't. There's nothing wrong with having a few of them. And you can always add another sentence. There's usually more than one simple answer to any question.

R

Quoted from LC Pardon my ignorance but what is LW? Light weight, low wattage, left wing??? :D

Lethal Weapon.  

Done reading...I think...unless Don posts more scripts!

To everyone here, great job! Great notes; advice. Thank you.

I hope I can make it through to FADE OUT, hope you all can as well!!!

I gotta agree with Jeff, not all thrillers have to be go-go-go Crank style. Even if they're a race against time. I personally thought that meant that you need a sense of urgency to the script. "Do this by this time", I cannot understand why one would think it needs to be balls to the walls action. Pretty much every script I've read that starts of with unrelenting action and keeps it like that was terrible.

Buried is a good example of a thriller that doesn't need action or big stunts to make a compelling story. Films like Unbreakable and Black Swan are very thrilling. And again, no action -- with the latter even having a sense of urgency with the upcoming performance. I just don't think you should expect the story to fit some kind of mold before you've even read it.

As for 'show, don't tell' -- that's probably the one rule which I think is essential to good story telling. Please don't tell me through dialogue how your character's wife died.

Quoted from LC What I am enjoying at the moment are the reviews that give me suggestions for what what they think can make for a better opening/first ten, not just what they don't like but what they do think is working.

What does work is obvious from omission. The most important thing for me is knowing what doesn't work. If somebody doesn't pick up on it, then I take it that it works for them.

Not that I'm particularly bothered what doesn't work either unless it sounds logical from my own perspective too. The advice from other writers is often not sound advice at all... but merely advice from the perspective of how they'd write your story.

Quoted from nawazm11 Buried is a good example of a thriller that doesn't need action or big stunts to make a compelling story.

I suppose we all have differing ideas on what is thrilling and what isn't. I've never seen Buried. I have heard of it. Just doesn't sound very thrilling. Sounds like another bunch of low budget, contained, high profit bullshit to me.

Hey Abe from LA is back around.  Good shit  8)

Buried was an original spec as far as I know, and I think the writer planned on filming it himself until he got some interest. For a script secluded to a coffin, it kept your attention, that's for sure.

Did you enter anything, Dustin?

Quoted from nawazm11 Buried was an original spec as far as I know, and I think the writer planned on filming it himself until he got some interest. For a script secluded to a coffin, it kept your attention, that's for sure.

I doubt that it would keep mine. Just the premise alone puts me off. I watched Gravity not long ago, even though I said I wouldn't... and I wished that I had missed it. All I see is containment with high profit in mind.

It wasn't made because it was a great story, it was made because it would be cheap to do it and would reap huge profits. I understand there has to be a business side to films, but when it is so blatant like that it really puts me off.

Yes, I have written something. The premise has promise, I'm just not sure how to work it yet. The pages I have written will be scrapped, I wrote them Friday afternoon just as an example to see if the premise could work... and although it will have its difficulties, I don't believe there's any point in writing something if it doesn't.

Quoted from nawazm11 Buried was an original spec as far as I know, and I think the writer planned on filming it himself until he got some interest. For a script secluded to a coffin, it kept your attention, that's for sure....

You're right Mo, and Carson reviewed it on Script Shadow. Ryan Reynolds proved his acting chops with Buried. Just watched a repeat on TV the other day and it's brilliant suspense for just being a man in a box. Mind you I'm a fan of 'The Vanishing' - the original, and the remake with Jeff Bridges. If I could have come up with an original  5-10 for a 'buried alive' movie for this 7OWC I would have.

I remember waxing lyrical about Buried on this site before they made the film.

I did intend at the time to have a quick look at it but once I was started I had to read the whole thing. There's not many scripts which hook me like that. The film lived up to the script too. Both are fine work.

R

6 down, 12 to go.  Having fun with this challenge, lots of interesting scripts on display.  I know there are 19, but 1 of them is mine, so if I comment on 18/19 then people will know what one's mine.

Gotta be mysterious for stealth purposes.  Don't tell anyone.

-Lee (< I changed my username, again, say nothing ;))

I count 17?

Lee, you should change your name to LEEVOLVE. haha

I also count 17.

I did not like Buried.  I gave ti a chance and thought it was dull, boring, plodding and unlreastic.  Not my cup of Joe, by any means.

Did I just see someone knock GRAVITY, a film that's 90% CGI, for being cheap?  Huh?

Quoted from Dark Shape Did I just see someone knock GRAVITY, a film that's 90% CGI, for being cheap?  Huh?

Not me, bro.  Obviously far from cheap at a reported $100 Million budget.

Anyone who said that is obviously a complete idiot.

He also told me Seven is a murder mystery. Like Scooby Doo.

Meddling pesky kids.

R

Quoted from LC I count 17?

I'm out!

S

Quoted from LC I count 17?

I think I counted Shawn's entry (which was removed) and this thread, lol.  Oops.  

Quoted from Guest Lee, you should change your name to LEEVOLVE. haha

Leevolve?  Always open to ideas.  Haha.

Quoted from Dark Shape Did I just see someone knock GRAVITY, a film that's 90% CGI, for being cheap?  Huh?

It's all relative. Considering the worldwide markets aimed for and its profit margins, Gravity was a cheap film to make. Only cost half of other blockbusters, like Man of Steel and Iron Man 3. It also made more profit than Man of Steel and nips at the heels of Iron Man 3.

100 million is cheap for a blockbuster.

Quoted from rendevous He also told me Seven is a murder mystery. Like Scooby Doo. Meddling pesky kids. R

I didn't say it was like Scooby Doo. I said Seven is a murder mystery. Have people been murdered in it? Does anyone know who's doing it till the end? That's a murder mystery, mate.

I also proved it was a Murder Mystery. I'll do so again:
http://www.imdb.com/search/title?genres=mystery&title_type=feature&num_votes=1000,&sort=user_rating,desc

You'll note from that list that Psycho can be either a Horror or a Thriller. I've never heard of a horror/thriller before. Something is either a horror or a thriller... right?

Personally, I found Psycho to be quite funny. It's almost a comedy.

Finally got to read some of these -- hectic week.

Awesome stuff! Enjoyed quite a few of them. Looking forward to finishing them off tomorrow.

Good work y'all.