Shared Destiny by Luis Garza - Short, Drama - We follow Michael Roberts, who is going about his day on an alternate universe where the past the present and the future of one self live in the same town. 4 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hi Luis

Took a read of this so a few thoughts, just my opinion of course.

1) I'd put this into a proper screenplay format with something like CeltX - the software is free, then save it as a pdf - it will encourage people to read it.
2) There's an interesting premise here and a reasonable idea at the core.
3) But I think it is a little over reliant on dialogue, try and show more and tell less.
4) There's no real explanation as to why this time wobble exists, it's only a short so it may not be necessary but it did leave me wondering.

I'd get this up as a pdf and hopefully you'll get some more reads.

Anthony

Actually this idea got nice potential for making movie. If you could write proper full feature you may get lucky to sell it.

Thank you both, I really appreciate your comments. Yes i almost ripped my brains out when i thought of the premise.

And yes, right now I'm thinking of Ideas for a feature film, i don't want to rush it, that's why I started it with a short.