The Ellis Ranch by Torrence Lam - Horror - Found footage of UFOs, cattle mutilations, and unknown entities, tell the story of The Ellis Ranch; and the stories of the lone rancher, the film school friends who realize their attraction to one another, and the inquisitive cop—those who have disappeared or died documenting its phenomena. 82 pages - pdf, format 8)

Torrence,

I'm not a fan of your log line. I mean, I guess it kinda tells what the script's about - albeit in very broad, lifeless and generic terms - but it doesn't give give me any reason to read it. I don't know what's at stake, I'm not feeling any urgency and I certainly don't see what the goal is - if any.

A poorly written/presented log line is usually a good indicator that the writer doesn't know what the story is. But, by all means, prove me wrong. Give me a reason to read it.

Oh, shiznit, it's the snipe!  ;D

Read the first 20 - something tells me this might be half interesting if it wasn't found footage.

Too much talking with very OTN dialogue and all of the information just gets thrown at us.