Interview with a Ventriloquist by Ian J. Courter - Short, Comedy - Ventriloquism may be an art, but not all ventriloquists are artists... as one reporter finds out when she's already having a bad day. 7 pages - pdf, format 8)

Here is the YouTube link for the video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-jw8sZjVCg

Decent effort, Ian

I watched the video and saw at the end a group of other works you have done as well.

It's good to have you aboard. Welcome to Simply Scripts.

Shawn.....><

I think coming on here, a scripts website, with a pre-made film... is, well quite frankly cheating!

;-)

Only kidding... really liked the script, particularly the interplay between the Lorraine and Larry. I wanted slightly more at the end though... the details of getting his brother into trouble were great, I expected this to be used in the end somehow, maybe dragging Maggie into it.

I think the filmed version works well, but the interview location (someone's living room?) doesn't seem like where such an interview would take place, but minor gripe.

All just my opinion of course.

Thanks

Anthony

Thanks to Shawn and Anthony for the encouragement. I am going to continue to polish and improve my writing and filmmaking. Does it sound cliche to state this is just the beginning?

I have been a member for a little while now, but I have not been able to provide feedback to others as much as I would like. I am also working to change that. One of the best aspects of this site is the level of professionalism I have seen with respect to the quality of feedback from other members and the encouragement provided. It is appreciated.

Ian

Doesn't sound cliche at all, bro.

you seem ahead of the curve for someone just putting his toe in...

That's very encouraging as a fellow writer.

As the feedback goes, you're right on.

Give and get is the life flow of SS. It's all about helping each other out.

take care,

shawn.....><

Quoted from Don Interview with a Ventriloquist by Ian J. Courter - Short, Comedy - Ventriloquism may be an art, but not all ventriloquists are artists... as one reporter finds out when she's already having a bad day. 7 pages - pdf, format 8)

I loved the idea of reading a script of the title subject.  But, I don't get the purpose of the story, except to belittle the ventriloquist, get the interviewer chopped to a lower position.   The other girl was there as an observer and necessary to balance, I suppose.  I'm a beginner and I would please like info about your inspiration for this script.  

DonaldC

Dear Ian,

I really liked the idea of this story. It is funny but I think it can be drawn out longer. You can really show these characters as struggling to contain themselves and just keep building it up to the final explosion.

I found the dialogue to be a little stiff.

Also, I watched your short film and it's really good but still stiff in the dialogue. I would suggest letting your actors improvise a little bit, they may come up with something even funnier than you thought. It's okay to let go of the reigns a little bit.

Overall nice story, it's funny, unique and well written. Good job!

-Tom

I think he and his family/friends are the actors.

Thank you all for providing comments and feedback. Part of the confusion may lie in the intent I had for the script and video. I added to it by not making the script tighter and more focused.

My original intent was to use the short script as a means to improve my writing of the longer, feature-length scripts I am developing. I wanted to better understand how to describe the action portion, as well as writing better, more natural dialogue. Once I had a rough script I shot it as an experimental film to see how it plays out in the role of director and actor. Amazingly, it did help. I am tighteniong up my other scripts with a very different viewpoint. On the flipside of that, I have to fight the impulse to add camera direction and other information that should not go into a writer's version.

As for DonaldC's comment, the inspiration was a combination of Jeff Dunham by way of Edgar Bergen and a broadcast news journalist I know. I was literally eating my lunch at work one day and the idea just came to me. I grabbed a post-it note and started writing down ideas and a brief synopsis. It was simply a bad day for a struggling journalist who had just found out she didn't get the promotion to anchor. Her misfortune was to have to interview a bad ventriloquist who was just an outright jackass (Would he be called a "wanker" in the UK?). Maggie, the producer/camera operator, was simply there as part of the reporting duo. Also, yes, that is my living room, and my wife and a friend chipped in as a favor to help me film my little experiment.

As for the length, as TomV mentioned, I felt constrained to keep it under 5 minutes or lose the audience entirely. Especially since YouTube has a ten minute limit. Since this was only the second film I have done, I didn't feel comfortable letting the actors improvise. Perhaps as I make more, I may get to that point.

In closing, I enjoyed the experience that filming a script gave me. It taught me lessons that I am applying to longer scripts. I recommend it.

Thanks again for the comments and encouragement.

Ian

I'm not sure why youtube has a 10 minute limit. I uploaded an 11.40 minute film only a couple of days ago.

You should also check out Vimeo. They allow files up to 500MB for free.

It might be the way you are converting the files or something.

Thanks for the pointer. A couple of people have mentioned Vimeo. As for the files I upload to YouTube, yep, I generally upload HiRes with CD-quality sound. For my simple VLOGs, I have lowered the resolution. Thanks, Dustin.

Ian

“Two fingers. One finger. Points to Lorraine.”

- Wow, Larry is certainly late, not even a “Hello, how are you?” from Lorraine. Just straight into it!

“Larry speaks without moving his lips.”

- Might be worth describing what this sounds like. You don’t give us much to go on here. Is he using a normal or affected voice? Is he throwing it or does it sound like its coming from him, just without moving lips?

LORRAINE
(puzzled)
Cussed?

- Why doesn’t she know what he means by this term?

Just throwing this out there but given what Larry has just said about getting his brother in trouble through his “talent” and what Maggie said to Lorraine about getting the anchor position if she doesn’t screw up... I'm anticipating what’s going to transpire here. Of course I could be wrong, reading on…

LORRAINE
I get the idea!

I don’t get Lorraine’s bit?hiness here. She gave the impression she didn’t understand what Larry said, then when he explains himself ,she becomes angry. Why?

LARRY
(overlapping)
Throw my voice? What am I, a
baseball pitcher? I project my
voice.

- I liked this line with Larry getting all protective about his art.

LARRY
Aren't you supposed to be an anchor
by now? What? Can't cut it, so
you got this gig?

- How does Larry know this?

I get why Lorraine is so antagonistic and generally aggressive towards Larry because of what we learned in the opening scene but if she’s looking to climb the ranks she’s certainly not doing herself any favours with this performance.

LARRY
(mimicking)
Mememememe.

- What is he mimicking?

Ok so it didn’t go totally in the direction I thought it would but essentially she ended up screwing things up in a royal way. I figured that Larry would literally project his voice to get Lorraine in trouble with her superior or something like he had with his brother.

I couple of chuckles in here but it’s hard to really sympathize with Lorraine, if that is indeed how you want to us to feel, as she seemed all too ready to explode on Larry. She was disrespectful to him and his craft from the beginning, all because she didn’t get her promotion. You could say she was doing some “projecting” of her own onto Larry ;)

As it’s written, Larry seems like an alright guy being harangued by this unpleasant, career woman. Thus, it’s a bit one sided so and too easy to side with the ventriloquist. I wonder, to make it more interesting and less black and white, could you make Larry a bit more provocative and nastier to Lorraine? Sure, he doesn’t take any of her jibes and gives it back to her but she’s really the architect of her own downfall by being so abrupt and rude to him from the start. It’s that old “first impressions are the most lasting” thing.

The final scene was an amusing bookend but I didn’t understand the “one area farmer” part. Specifically “area.

Plus, and I know this was done for laughs and shouldn’t be treated so seriously but after her antics with Larry wouldn’t she be lucky to get a job cleaning the studio floors let alone be allowed in front of the camera again? Even if it’s only the lousy farmer report ;)

Col.

Read the script and watched the video. Can't say that I was in love with either but will give you kudos for a fairly professional looking approach (formatting, etc.) and the dedication to bring this to a video format - it was quite interesting to be able to read the script and watch the video.

I did very much like the title.

I do think there are places to go with the general concept. As an example, I think there may be some comedy to be mined in a scenario that has a ventriloquist actually anchoring the news.  i.e., She, a prototypical professional journalist in a last ditch effort to get noticed for an anchoring position interviews the Country's most famous ventriloquist. Great ratings and public reaction - but not for her - for the ventriloquist. The news station is going broke and is willing to try anything to get out of the barrel and - wala - your nightly news with the Ventriloquist - an overnight success.  She would end up having to be his support/producer and that is where all the tension comes in. Just a thought,

Personally, I also think you are better off going with puppets - I think they are ripe for comedy (e.g., in the story example above, a weather puppet, a field reporter puppet, a sports puppet, etc.). He could do all the voices saving the station $$$.

Anyway - kudos for the effort and welcome to the site - I am a newbie as well.

Ian,

I blame all untoward comments on the little puppet monkey that sits on my shoulder.  Take with care.

The opening works.  Lorraine is pissed, and Maggie is trying to keep things focused.  I would think, though, that if the guy is running this late, they're already looking for backup.  Who's available to take the slot?  

Have you tried this with a puppet?  It means some rewriting, but the skit might be funnier if Lorraine is pissed at the puppet, not Putzac.  She can rip apart the puppet while everyone watches.  Also, the jokes can be a bit more risque since it's the puppet who delivers them.  

I agree it's a bit of a stretch for him to comment on Lorraine's career.  He can tell her she'll make anchor when she gets that nose job or hikes up her skirt, but I don't believe he's privy to her being turned down for the job.

That she ends up on the farm report is great.  Might you toss in a cow or something to upstage her report?  Might add a bit of humor.

Overall, this reads like an SNL skit, and that's a good thing.  The humor can be a bit more ribald and clever, but you have time for that.  Good job.

Best
Richard

Col, Eldave, and Richard,

I have to say that you guys made me chuckle. You took the interview in humorous directions at times that I had not envisioned. What I have now is a ton of ideas to think about in terms of revising the script and the characters, which is a great "problem" to have. One issue I am losing more hair over is the realization that, in combination with "Looking for Bigfoot" and another Lorraine Sanchez short script I have mulled, I am almost to the point where I should be developing her into a full-fledged character in a feature-lenght script. Never considered her for anything other than a vehicle for practicing the craft and toying with directing short films, but for some wacky reason, this character speaks to me.

Thanks for taking time to look it over. If you need the same, please let me know.

Ian

One more thing. I am not only revising this short and the sequel "Looking for Bigfoot", but I am developing a third installment with the Lorraine Sanchez character. However, I am still unsure if this will develop into a feature-length or not.