Orbs by Cesare Nassaini - Horror - Five people find themselves facing a mysterious and evil entity. 90 pages - pdf, format 8)

Quoted Text Five people find themselves facing a mysterious and evil entity.

Your logline isn't good enough for a feature. You can get away with it with shorts... but a feature needs a little more. If you're around and make a post I'll check out your script.

The title kind of intrigued me so I decided to give it a read. I read about the first ten pages.

Here's a few things that I noticed.

First page you start seven sentences with the word ‘we’.  It’s really not even proper to use the word we in screenplays anymore.

First page second slug line INT. ROOM WITH WHITE WALLS (What time of day?).  Also you mention in your action lines that the room has white walls. You mentioned that in the slug. No need to waste space on it again. I honestly would try to work on that slug line also.

Page two. Man #2 (With a strong American accent) I’m not really sure what a strong American accent is? Is it a New York accent? Southern accent? A New England accent?

Page two. I was very confused when one of the men got shot. Which man? I’m guessing the one in the room, but at first it seemed like Man #2 shot Man #1. I had to read it a second time. Not good for a reader to do so.

Page three. Twenty Hours Later  should read like this... SUPER: Twenty Hours Later

Page three third slug line. You mention the lake and that's fine, but then you mention that it’s a lake again in your first action line. Once again no need to waste time or space on talking about the lake.

Page four. Introducing the character of  HEIMBRECHT KUNTZ. The age should read as (50s) not 50ish.

That's all for now, but I hope this helps. Good luck the rest of the way.