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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Series  /  Cover Band
Posted by: Don, December 18th, 2014, 6:26pm
Cover Band by Mark Rupprecht - Series, Action, Adventure - When North Korea's Beloved Leader demands a one-night-only performance, an iconic  rock band (and secret CIA agents) must put aside their differences and reunite for that most worthy of causes: using the show to steal the codes to the North Korean nuclear program! 60 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: DustinBowcot (Guest), December 19th, 2014, 2:53am; Reply: 1
Code

SUPER: "EAST BERLIN, 1986"

PATRICK WRIGHT, mid 30’s, an unyielding CIA man, observes.

Alert at the door, LENNY, 40’s, sausaged in his suit.



You can't use a super as a slug... ah, I see what you've done. You've placed the super halfway through the scene and then intro'd new characters. Confused me for a second. I'm going to leave this here though for you to mull over. I'd suggest placing the super at the start.

Code

PATRICK (cont’d)
You’ll be with my best men.

Patrick barks out an order to Lenny.

PATRICK (cont’d)
Get me the band!


The above is a little confusing too. Personally I'd take the action line and turn it into a parenthetical (to Lenny).

I've read a couple of pages and it seems written well for the most part. Probably some confusing bits here and there, but not anything major.
Posted by: gridlockd, March 21st, 2015, 10:58am; Reply: 2
I gotta say, I didn't care much for your title at first. Kinda bland. Until I realized it was a play on words. A rock band who are really undercover CIA agents? That's a brilliant concept for a series.
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