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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Scripts  /  Consensus
Posted by: Don, December 21st, 2014, 12:33pm
Consensus by Richard Russell - Short, Drama - When a group of teens loses its adult guide, they try to figure out how to survive in the wild. 16 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: AnthonyCawood, December 21st, 2014, 5:27pm; Reply: 1
Hi Richard, took a look at this so a few thoughts, just my opinion of course...

1) The language of the kids seems very advanced for 12/13 year olds, facilitator, concensus, buy in... seems more like a management meeting.
2) No food or water when they are trekking with a teacher, sorry that doesn't seem right or believable, surely they'd stop for lunch at some point. And the water all being polluted, seemed a little convenient.
3) None of them have their own phones?

Having said that, there was a lot I liked in the 'process' and the way the goup frctured... BUT it didn't ring tru for me in the way it's currently set up, but I think with a little more work this could be fixed.

Anthony
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