Music To My Ears by Bradley Kominsky - Short, Drama - One man's appreciation for his music proves to be stronger for him than for others. 12 pages - pdf, format 8)

Bradley,

Take all comments with healthy skepticism.

First, let me congratulate you for a nice little story.  It works.  But try to show more than tell.  Take the opening scene.  If you give Jordan action won't it work better?  He's dancing or cooking or something and when questioned he can play a medley to demonstrate his memories.  "This one is our first kiss.  And this one was the time it snowed for two days."  Demonstrate how re remembers.

In the flashback you set up a perfect opportunity for conflict. Put her there with Jordan and her parents and she gives her speech to them and their money instead of Jordan.  Don't cheat her or your audience out of that powerful moment.

Last scene.  Would it be better if Sam arrives baby and wife in tow?  Now you can play a new song that Jordan can associate with his grandchild.  How memories are made.

I think you have the spine of a story.  Devise actions that will convey your meaning.

Best

Richard