How To Pronounce Hawaiian by Sylvia Dahlby - Short, Comedy - A gold-digger makes a friendly wager with her sugar daddy. 3 pages - pdf, format 8)

Hey Sylvia

Took a quick read, my thoughts... just my opinion of course...

It's a short short, so not too much to say as I think it worked well for what you were going for.

I have one suggestion, that I think would add an additional joke...

She whispers in his ear and squeezes his thigh.

Rich grins.

Tiffany finds an in-flight magazine from her bag and flips past a dog-eared page: “How To Pronounce Hawaiian”

She shows him an ad in the magazine: a pearl necklace

TIFFANY
And if I’m right, you get me THIS pearl necklace. You game?

Rich laughs lasciviously and pulls in at the pick-up window.


Just a thought.

Anthony