Cubed by Robert H. Householder - Short, Comedy - Cubicle bound group of mental misfits save the country from evil terrorist while providing their own kind of Tech Support. 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

I'm feeling charitable, so here goes...

Read a book on how to format a screenplay.  CAPITALIZING ALL OF YOUR DIRECTIONS IS NOT PROPER FORMATTING.

You're directing from the page.  Stop that.

Where are your slug lines?

Don't name actors you want to have play characters.  It just shows how much of an amateur you are.

The ONLY reason I read your screenplay past the first page, was because you referenced Electric Avenue in the first paragraph.  I have a soft spot for that song.  I think the reason you didn't get any other comments is that no one else does.  Your complete lack of understanding on formatting broadcasts that this script isn't worth reading.

BTW, a licensing a song like that would blow a production budget for a short.  But then again you've got a bunch of major actors, including Will Ferrell listed, so I guess money is no object.

The good news is that you can tell a story.  There is an actual beginning, middle and end, which ain't bad for a first attempt.  There were moments which were fun.  What fell a bit flat the climax was that only two of the guys made a contribution to averting the terrorist attack (unless you count Tom ratting out Sergei).  They all should contribute in some way.

I'll give you the same advice I gave that last first attempt I read.  Read some books on screenwriting.  Screenplay by Syd Field is a good start.

Whew. I realize I may be missing out on a real prize-winner buried somewhere in this mess, but so be it.

Actions/descriptions in all CAPS! why? that worked for TV writing but even that has changed now.

Camera angles, continues everywhere... very difficult to read so far.

CLIENT #1 OS  this guy needs a name.

I tried to stick with it, the names got stupid, the dialogue was horrendous

SMOOTH GROOVE LARRY
Yo mutha fuckers I am on a call,
shut the fuck up, and keep your gay
ass robot toys out of my cubicle...

I gave up after this... sorry

p.s  Is that your real name on the title pages along with your email address?