EXT. MIDDLE CLASS SUBURBAN FRONT PORCH - MORNING MARNIE, ample in her resolute aplomb, sits motionless on the porch swing, can of Guinness in hand. The only thing that moves is the shine from the summer sun. Marnie stares as time holds still in her beautiful world where the wind doesn't blow, cars don't drive by, and even the birds and dogs are silent. Condensation on the can doesn't accumulate and roll. Everything is motionless. MARNIE (V.O.) I shouln't have drunk this. I didn't need it. I didn't even want it. But... Two open cans of Guinness stand at attention on the porch floor beneath her. A fourth can awaits fulfillment. MARNIE (V.O.) ... a short story might give me reason to take a break from all this... Nothing continues. MARNIE (V.O.) nothing. EXT. MIDDLE CLASS SUBURBAN STREET - MORNING Marnie sits on her porch swing on a beautiful summer day. A brown bird flies by. Or was it grey? Or gray? Marnie stands up, collects her cans, steps over a man's body as she walks inside, and closes the door behind her. EXT. WINDOW OF MIDDLE CLASS SUBURBAN HOME - MORNING Inside she rolls the computer mouse, the screen lights up, she types. INSERT: EXT. FOREST ROAD - NIGHT A thunderstorm rages above a drenched man in a wheelchair. He rolls down the dark road, knife in his back.

INT. SORORITY HOUSE DEN - NIGHT A room full of tipsy young women cheer on JENNY TULL, cherry of a girl, and DIXIE NORMUS, taco supreme, who sorta-stand nude over a plastic cup on the floor, their drunken laughs are heinous. JENNY We can do this! We can-- Dixie rolls to the side, Jenny tries to compensate. She almost succeeds. DIXIE DO IT! Dixie completes her slow fall to the ground, her leg launches the cup several feet away, then a rooster tail of urine ejects into the air in the cup's general vicinity. DIXIE DO IT, JENNY! Do it! Do it! Do it! Jenny takes a single step towards the cup laying on its side, Dixie's urine splatters on its topside, and cocks her own pelvis at an unnatural angle. A dozen cell phones record the streams crossed in this perverse anti-Ghostbusters event. The cup resonates the unfulfilled pitter-patter. EXT. CAMPUS - DAY Jenny and Dixie cake walk the sidewalk to the university library, they shield their eyes from the sun's excessive use of sunlight. A gaggle of girls clap to them and cheer as they semi-stagger by. The couple observe the curious ritual oblivious to its meaning. A squad of atheltic boys up the ante with riotous cheers to them BOY 1 Do it! Do it! Do it! BOY 2 DO IT, JENNY! Do it! Do it! Do it! An unsustainable curious smile evaporates from Jenny's face. DIXIE What's that all about?