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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Drama Scripts  /  Breathe
Posted by: Don, March 11th, 2015, 4:33pm
Breathe by David Edmondson - Short, Drama - A man really lives after the passing of his wife.  11 pages - pdf, format 8)
Posted by: c m hall, March 12th, 2015, 10:47am; Reply: 1
SPOILERS

There are a series of powerful images; the soldiers at Normandy, Frank looking into his wife's sewing room, seeing the unfinished projects, Frank and his son at the kitchen table (surrounded by take-out food containers), Frank tearing apart the packed items in the garage, Frank beholding the motorcycle.  These images are well described and well chosen, which makes me think this will eventually become a fine, memorable film.

The letter in the opening scene contains the phrase

"anyone perFrank Jr. so much."

and then this phrase is repeated at the end.  I don't know what this means so I'm certainly missing something from this important passage.

The dazzling image at the end of the story seems appropriate (the heroic Frank faces impossible odds head on, once again) and ought to, I think, bring an emotional response from the audience.

I look forward to reading the next draft of this script.
Posted by: JohnHunter, March 21st, 2015, 9:55am; Reply: 2
Perhaps "anyone perFrank Jr. so much" should be "didn't realize I would miss you and Frank, Jr so much."
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