Don't Be Square by Pelham Mead III - Drama, Comedy - The year is 1967 and three new Junior High teachers in upper New York State learn to survive despite the social tension of civil rights demonstrations, in-house politics and cover-ups, the anti-war student demonstrations, and a frightening school fire.  78 pages - pdf, format 8)

Pelham,

First, at 78 pages, I am not sure I would categorize this one as a short. It comes up as a TV pilot, but is in the short portion.

Second, as far as the script goes, it appears to be almost a direct copy of the book that has been reformatted to be a screenplay. The action portions are way too long and have a great deal of unshootable text and asides. Write what can be shot or recorded as sound. Also, in the character name portions, there should be no age in those lines. Example,
SAM KELP (50s)

The age should be in the action when the character is introduced the first time.

Generally, write out numbers, i.e., five thousand versus 5,000.

Parentheticals are too long under the characters' names. Much of that info should be in the action portion.

As for the dialog, it is way too long in places.

I highly recommend you read several scripts in the TV section of SS. They will give a better idea of formatting for TV. I am sorry to say that, as written, I found it difficult to continue. Suggest revising to fit in the proper format and standards, then resubmit for review. I would be happy to give it another shot.

Best of luck.

78 pages is way too much for a short bruh! I'm gonna chime in tho.

13-14 lines of action in one block is too much, the fat needs to be trimmed and if you can't do away with anything... break it up.

The above poster has it right when he talks about the age in the character/dialogue portions, it should be there when a character is introduced the first time and that's it.

Why are some of the character names in bold? Inconsistent.

The dialogue is wow, too thick for my liking. I'd understand if the opening was quite intense but this seems to carry on for pages and pages.

As it stands I won't go any further with this script in terms of reading it, it's too long for a short and it's overwritten to the complete max.