The Culler by Richard Russell - Short, Drama - A mailman meets a culler, someone who thins the herd. 10 pages - pdf, format 8)

I had no idea what this was about.

A cryptic conversation in a pub, and some random explosion at the end.

Max

Sorry if the sp is confusing. My bad.  

Best
Richard

Can you explain some of the story?

I hate going without answers after I read something, happened in the OWC with Placebo Button.

Max,

Sure.  In a nutshell, Everett is a psycho who is hell bent on killing his ex along with a bunch of kids. Slater is a culler, someone whose job is to get rid of the wackos like Everett.  Yes, there is a supernatural element although slater uses human means to cull Everett from the human herd.

In this case, slater uses the gang bangers to kill off Everett before he can commit mass murder.

Again, if that info was not on the page, that's my problem, not yours.  

Best
Richard

Sorry, I misread a comment of yours.

Thought you were taking a tone,  I should've known better of course because I've never seen you do anything like that.  I thought you were telling me it was my problem that I didn't understand what was happening.

Putting that aside, give me a second to edit my post and I'll re-list the problems I had.

EDIT:

1.  I understand he's a Culler, I get that.  He comes around, tries to give criminals a chance to change their ways.

It wasn't clear that he used the gang-bangers to get rid of Everett.  He waves, then the thugs tear through and blow them both sky high.

He's a Culler right? Obviously not a very good one if he's using petty thugs to get the job done, unless he wanted them to die as well to kill two birds with one stone.  If that's the case, it wasn't made clear, add to the fact that Slater died... and for what?

It appeared as if Slater was just caught in the crossfire of some drive-by, that's all I got.

2.  Some of the writing near the end added to the confusion.  For example:

Quoted Text A few yards past Everett, Slater spins the car and starts across on the other side of Everett. As he does, the THUGS in the lowrider open FIRE.

He spins and starts across on the other side? Not clear.

3.  I didn't get any real message from this, it all felt rather pointless.  Am I supposed to take something away? Maybe that criminals are incapable of changing their ways or something?

Richard

“Curiously, Everett doesn’t duck as bullets explode windows
across the street.”

- A clever, subtle indicator to show us that this occurrence is nothing new for Everett.

I liked the ritualistic nature of Everett's actions here when he arrives home from a day's work, especially the removal of the myriad of hidden weapons.

It further explains his unfazed reaction to the drive-by shooting earlier but also gets us intrigued as to why he is carrying so much heat. There has got to be more to it than the fact that he delivers mail in a bad neighbourhood. The photos hint at this.
     
“The closet is an arsenal.”

- Sh?t, he’s prepared for some apocalyptic societal anarchy here!

“SLATER, 50s, a patch over one eye, a scar on one cheek”

- Did this guy just walk off the set of Max Max? You want to give him a prosthetic limb too? ;)

"Slater looks like 40 miles of detour"

- Great description here. Although you could probably add some colour to the subsequent “seen adversity” part. How about “tackled/wrestled adversity with his bare hands” or “peered into its gaping maw!” Ok, maybe I got carried away with the last one.

SLATER
I don’t recall asking permission

- Ha, good comeback

EVERETT
Letter carrier

- Oooooh, excuse me!

SLATER
Born in Sisters of Charity hospital
a few, well, more than a few years
ago.

- Nitpicky I know but Everett is 40 so would Slater even make the mistake of saying "a few"? Seems unlikely. Everett is just too old and as we find out, Slater is a model professional who chooses his words very carefully.
     
SLATER
Army,first gulf war, honorable
discharge.

- Presuming this is set in the present day (since it’s not stated otherwise) wouldn't this make Everett 16 during that war? Thus, too young to enlist.

SLATER
Touche.

- "Touche" doesn't seem like the correct term here. It is used when someone spells out a truth the other may have missed.

SLATER
Thin the herd. A culler thins the
herd.

- I like the repeated line here, very matter of fact.

SLATER
I don’t work for any government.
Cullers serve a higher power, the
power that put you on this planet.

- I'm genuinely intrigued. The conversation has taken an interesting turn...reading on...

SLATER
which look like your ex-wife.

- That's pretty specific criteria right there. One could be searching awhile to fit that one.

EVERETT
Do you really expect a psychopath
to change?

SLATER
No, I expect you to lie.

- I like the Goldfinger reference here. I presume that's what Everett is laughing at.

EVERETT
Stay out of my way, Mr. Culler.

- The perverse side of me wants to doff my hat to this sick basta?d. He’s clearly not one to be intimidated.

I dig this focus on process and preparation too as Everett gets ready for his final act, leaving out the manifesto, equipping himself, loading his car etc.

“and Slater’s car explodes”

- Should this be "Everett's" instead of "Slater's"

The ending was very disappointing for me unfortunately, at least on first reading. Perhaps there is more to it but from what I see you had a very strong introduction with the Everett character at work and at home. Everything is conveyed via image, no dialogue. This is then followed by an assuredly written, tense exchange between Everett and Slater in the bar where it all about dialogue and it too shines for that very reason.

While the whole idea of Slater's profession was fairly implausible from the outset (as in the way he reveals himself to Everett like that), along with his obligation to give the letter carrier a second chance (which is a little more than morally questionable in itself) it was an engaging scene nonetheless helped by crisp dialogue and Everett's (psychopathic tendencies and transgressions aside) sheer defiance of Slater.

Most of us would be scared sh?tless by Slater’s firm, ominous tone and just the idea of finding out that these people know everything about you, monitor your every move, know you are armed to the teeth and intent on causing harm...but then most of us aren't in Everett's twisted, determined head-space. He even refers to the futility of changing a psychopath at one point which feeds into this notion. Only someone as far gone as Everett would essentially laugh in Slater’s face and dismiss him.

Anyway, with that kind of bizarre but enthralling set up I was curious to see how it would go...and basically Slater followed through with his culling threat and Everett was taken out, end of story.

I don't get it. There was no twist or surprise, it just played out as Slater predicted.

A certain air of fatalism came over the end of the conversation (not unlike that famous De Niro/Pacino scene in Heat) as you knew Everett wasn’t going to back down. He had made this pact with himself and was going to follow through with it no matter what...even when he probably knew he was going to be culled. Having said that, he does have a surprised look when he’s been shot down so I dunno, I’m probably way off in that interpretation.

Anyway, I’m not sure what are we supposed to take away from this. I can only assume I'm missing something here. I’d love to hear your intentions.

Col.

I wish I could say that I spent hours thinking about a message in this one.  Sadly, that wouldn't be true. I had the idea of a culler, someone who weeds out bad people, and I started writing.  I used the gang bangers because the culler should operate within the bounds of his environment, and because Everett is always armed to,the teeth.  Seemed better than having them in some kind of shootout.  Sometimes, things don't work.

Thanks for the notes.  

Best
Richard