Alien Hospital by Brad Harris - Short, Science Fiction - When a man enters his local hospital for a routine surgery, he gets more than he bargained for when he wakes up in the operation room to find the entire hospital is overrun by alien invaders.  6 pages - pdf, format 8)

A small criticism, but sometimes you repeat words a lot in a short space of time, (like 'roll'). Also flying saucers attacking the white house is kind of cliched. Other than that, I thought it was pretty well written.

Hi Brad,

I agree with the above post on repetition. But, did you need 6 pages to tell this story? I mean, you basically said the story in the logline -- what was the purpose other than an exercise in writing?

Tony.

I'm not sure if putting in the log line  that he wakes up in a hospital overrunn by alien invaders is the best bet, you are literally saying what happens in the short.

There are repetitive sentences throughout and others that are longer than they need to be.

Robert looks back at the alien looking doctor with a very
confused look.

"Robert looks at the alien looking doctor with confusion" would be a better choice.

I don't have a problem with the story itself, its quite interesting actually! I just think that some of the sentences read a bit awkwardly and it needs some polishing.

Good Luck!
-Luis 8)